I'm linking up with 5 minute Friday today.....but, I have to be honest, I went a little over today! I would still like to share what I wrote, so I hope you can overlook it(just this one time:)
The word today is.....
It's hard for me to grasp God's love for me sometimes. I can get so stuck and overwhelmed by past hurts that move in like a dense fog and block my emotional sight from everything else. The more I get stuck in emotions I don't know what to do with, the more confused and lost I feel.
Can you tell this has happened to me quite a few times in my life?
Well, today, I had some lousy emotions that got triggered. I could feel that familiar pull to look down into myself and get sucked into that negative cyclone. I didn't want to go there. I didn't want the day to be filled with anxiety and frustration and hurt.
So, I looked up. I am looking through the fog and asking God for the truth of the situation....not only in the present moment but also to see the truth of the past in order to bring healing to those emotions. That's what I really need....to stop the emotional static cling. That can only happen with healing.
I realize that I need healing from past experiences that were hurtful. Too often I've tried to heal myself...which is pride really. I try to fill someone around me with the caring and the help and the love that I needed to make up for what I lack. While it might help in the short term, I still end up feeling empty. It still doesn't truly fill the emptiness inside me from the hurt that only God can heal alone. Only He can heal the past and make up for what I needed but didn't get. I just have to ask...and wait...and be willing to let go of the hurt and move on.
Then I will have freedom from the hurt so that I will have the freedom to work toward all that God has intended me to be.
(idea adapted from Fr. Tom Daley as told by Holly Pierlot in a A Mother's Rule of Life)
Grasp onto God's Truth....and let go of my emotional baggage! Not easy AT ALL...but the results are priceless!
*for more info on static cling emotions see my post As Much Grace as I can Get...just click here.