I feel antsy tonight...unsettled. Do you ever have that feeling that there's something you are supposed to figure out but you aren't sure what it is? That something is there waiting for you to understand if you can just find it?
It's amazing what having a little time to unwind will do. Kate actually fell asleep in Jay's arms at bottle time tonight. She actually stayed asleep when he put her into her crib around 9. That hasn't happened in quite a while. Maybe those 2 teeth that she finally cut, (one on the top and another on the bottom), have finally let her get a little more rest and not sleep so lightly? Of course, that other top tooth and the next bottom tooth can't be far behind! But I gratefully accept the reprieve.
I worked on the grocery list for the week tonight. Sometimes it's such a struggle to be inspired to cook all week while trying to pick recipes that don't involve buying too many ingredients!
I watched/listened to the movie Julie and Julia while I worked on the list. I've seen the movie before. I really like it. I like that it's based on a true story. It's really neat the way a woman's blog and an idea to complete a goal while sharing the experience on the blogosphere could interest so many people and result in a book and a movie!
In my own blogging journey, which is still so new, I continue to stumble around the "where is this supposed to go?" question. I can be satisfied that it's just an expression of "me"...my thoughts and feelings and memories and accounts of my family's journey through life. There is a part of me that wants it to be more...to lead some where bigger. I truly believe that "it's all about timing"...if something is meant to be it will happen. I just have to do my part and be open to God doing His part. )Though I often wish that God sent postcards with specific, concrete directions!)
Sometimes I just want to figure out how to make something happen....but since I have no idea what direction to head in I just keep writing...and praying...and try to keep my eyes, ears, and heart open to the path that God has chosen for me. I don't want to ruin anything by pushing too fast and arriving unprepared. It's an opportunity to practice patience, and humility, and to focus on living in the present moment without rushing to get to the next moment.
Life is so much more satisfying when each moment of the day is breathed in and savored...even the difficult ones...instead of just trying to "survive" each moment to get to something else. It's a lesson I've finally started to allow myself to learn....and is still new enough that I still need the
Even as my little ones cough from their late summer colds and begin to stir before I've even made it to bed, I know that this present moment is fleeting. The nights of broken sleep will not last forever...though sometimes it feels that way. I will miss these baby and toddler days...Kate's obsession to always have me in her sight and Luke's invitations for me to play trucks or snuggle with him. So I try to "soak up the now" because memories of night time nursing and pudgy toddler hugs can never compare to experiencing the real thing.
And I have been blessed to do it many times over!