Within a few days of writing that post, there were a few comments made to me by close friends that may have seemed random, but actually felt like an answer and guidance to my own question of "What next?".
All the comments had to do with living in the moment. At different stages of life, the people that spoke to me still got a similar message out of what I wrote.....that time is fleeting, time is a gift, and focus on the present moment is the most important thing because it's the only one we have.
Just the other day my heart longed to just soak in Luke. He's so "busy" now and goes to sleep on his own that I have been missing our snuggle time. My baby is growing up so fast. I want to soak in his pudgy little toddler body and fill him with love...and fill my own heart with memories to ease the sadness that is there over his growing up right before my eyes.
Well, God granted an answer to that prayer in a funny way. Last night, Luke woke up with the croup before I had even gone to bed. I brought him into the bathroom and Jay started the shower to ease his congestion. Poor Luke was so tired, and scared, because it was hard to breathe. At one point he even threw up a little on Jay's arm because he was gagging so much. He just kept saying, "Mommy, I need you." And I kept saying, "I'm right here. You're ok."
After 15 or 20 minutes in the steam, Luke was much better. I gave him some benedryl and brought him into my bed propped up on an extra pillow. He was still congested a little. He was also very restless. So was I. I woke up at every little cough. Luke was feeling so lousy that he just wanted to snuggle in my arms. At one point, I whispered in his ear, "Lukie, I love you so much." He answered back, "Mommy, I love you so much, too." Aww...so sweet!
Between Luke's cough and restlessness and Kate's top tooth which will probably cut through her gums today by the look of it, not much sleep was had. But I got to hold and soothe my "baby" boy and make sure he was breathing ok. It was all worth it.
>
