Wednesday, April 18, 2018

When Your Emotions Are Stuck in a Holy Saturday State of Mind

Have you ever had emotions that didn't match the season of everyday life?
Maybe the sunshine outside doesn't break in through the clouds taking up residence inside of you?

Lent ended a couple of weeks ago, but the Holy Saturday reflection from Dynamic Catholic has bounced around in my head since I heard it. I know most people have happily moved past their Lenten sacrifices and happily embraced the smells(flowers), sounds(Alleluia), and tastes(CHOCOLATE!) of Easter. So, this will probably feel like regression, but bear with me!

When I think of the Apostles on Good Friday, I think of their shock, fear, and tremendous grief. One minute they're having this amazing experience at the Last Supper and, just a short time later, their Teacher who they love and respect and believe in has been arrested, tortured, and killed. They are traumatized and in shock!

By Holy Saturday, their initial shock has worn off and what's left is the confusion and pain. And they have no idea what to do with it all. In Dynamic Catholic's Holy Saturday reflection, Matthew Kelly talked about how confused and disoriented the Apostles felt on Holy Saturday. The Apostles questioned everything they had lived over the last 3 years.

Their "normal" had been shattered. Their lives as they were no longer existed. They don't know where to even start trying to rebuild their life or how to figure out their "new normal".

And then comes Easter.

Peace, hope, and consolation floods in. Easter transforms the trauma and grief the apostles went through. Easter doesn't take away the memory of the fear and grief they experienced, but it takes away the sting of the intense emotions. Easter gives them a rope to be pulled out of their pit of grief, gives them a break from their crushing emotions, and helps them to see and feel the light of hope and possibility that the next moment will not be as bleak as the darkness they have been surrounded by.

Everyone has gone through some kind of traumatic situation in life: maybe it's the death of a parent child, or friend; a terrible diagnosis; the loss of a job; infertility; serious financial trouble, etc., etc. We all go through our own Good Friday. We all get blindsided by the ugliness and grief and trauma that a difficult situation brings.

Even though it's the Easter Season, maybe you feel like you're still stuck in a Holy Saturday state of mind?

I have several friends that have some big life struggles they are dealing with right now. I know that they are stuck in that place of pain, brokenness, doubt and fear that nothing will ever feel "normal" again. They don't even know how to start walking towards the path of their "new normal".
"Broken Hope"

Thankfully, we know the ending. Easter will come even if it feels like it never will at this moment. God will resurrect your pain and brokenness into something new. He will bring good out of all the suffering. Hold tight to His promises not to break the bruised reed.(Matthew 12:20)

He will make all things new.

Remember that you're in good company.  11 apostles know how you are feeling. You're not alone. And our Blessed Mother understands all that we are going through as well. She had her heart pierced, but she trusted with a perfect trust. We can lean on her.

Sometimes when I long to hear God and feel the comfort and peace I know only He can give me, I look for His touch in music. When I feel lost and confused I turn on our local KLOVE Christian radio station and pray that He will speak to me through a song. It's amazing how, when I feel I can't find the words to utter, that a song can touch me so deeply that it can reach the heartbreak I'm feeling and it feels like God is consoling me through the song. It might not take the pain away, but it makes me feel connected and understood.  It gives me a small ray of hope that can both strengthen me in the moment and help me to head in a more healing direction, even if it takes a while.

Here are a few songs that recently touched my heart. I hope they will speak to anyone reading this that is struggling....or that you will pass them along to someone you know that is stuck in a dark place.

And remember, no matter what darkness surrounds you, God will resurrect and transform it. Your Easter is coming!

It's Nor Over Yet by for King & Country

Jesus I Believe

Soar by Meredith Andrews