Last year Mike had Wednesdays off on his school schedule, and he didn't work that day. Mike often wanted to do something with Luke....sometimes the zoo or the park or out shopping.
This year Mike has one class on Wednesday morning. Today was his first day and the teacher did a short introduction and then let them out very early. Mike called me to tell me he was on his way home and to ask, "So, what are we going to do today?"
Being 19, Mike is on the verge of jumping from teenager to young adult. He is heading towards independence from us...which is normal but isn't always very pretty as the tug of war of power can get a little ugly at times. I think it's even more challenging for us since Mike is the firstborn so this is new territory from us. Trying to balance when to let go in some areas and when to hold firm in others isn't easy. Compromise is definitely a key word with Mike at this stage in his life. It's VERY hard to go through the "letting go" process. Unfortunately, it's necessary, so we keep moving forward the best we can.
Sometimes Mike drives me crazy. He can be overly critical with his siblings, passive aggressive with Jay and with me, and is not always the most sensitive person. Other times, he is extremely helpful to us and extremely kind to his siblings. Hopefully, as he continues to mature, the helpful/kind Mike will be prominent!
These Wednesday outings are special and important. These Wednesdays are moments to build my relationship with my oldest son and moments to build Mike and Luke's relationship. Those two have a special bond....not only are they brothers but Mike is Luke's godfather, too. There are so many years between them,(16), that, most likely, Mike will not spend the majority of Luke's childhood in our home.(Not that we are in a hurry to see Mike leave..at least most days!;)
Sometime's Mike's question of "What are we doing today?" is met by thoughts of reluctance on my part. Sometimes I just want to stay home and clean. Sometimes I just feel too tired to try and come up with something fun or interesting to do. But then I remind myself that Mike is reaching out, and this is an opportunity to spend time with him and strengthen our bond...to put a deposit of "good feelings" in both our emotional tanks since, all too often, we are making "emotional withdrawls".
I love that Mike wants to spend time with Luke. I'm thankful for the opportunities to just be together in a relaxed way. Today's outing was to the Whaling Museum. It was Mike's idea. Luke had fun. At first he was timid...but after doing things with Mike hand over hand, Luke was ready to do it on his own!
What a good big brother!
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