I have always had a fear-filled personality in some ways. I think that might be another reason why, besides being a first born type A personality, I like to have control of things...it makes me feel safer in some ways.
Since we lived through the terrible experience of losing a child, the fear of experiencing that deep grief ever again is very strong. I hold no illusions that I have any control over anything....and that scares the crap out of me. At times, I have numbed out my emotions to try and protect myself from being hurt. The problem with that, is that you can't just numb out the "bad" emotions....you end up numbing out joy and love and hope, too.
That's no way to live.
There are lots of phrases that come to mind..."Live in the moment", "Be grateful for today", "Today's worries are sufficient for the day", "Sometimes we just have to do things scared", "Fake it til you make it"....
The Word I choose to latch onto today is from 1John4:18...
"Perfect Love Casts Out Fear"
I'm a work in progress. For sure.
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