Thankfully, the spinning of my emotional tornado from earlier in the week has faded! I'm still trying to sort out the lessons it was meant to teach me. I know that sometimes answers don't come quickly. God does not always answer my questions in the order they are received! I have to continue praying on it and working through my feelings....but I always find a place of peace and acceptance eventually(even if the answer I receive is not the one that I am looking for.)
I am grateful for the days when I can love and enjoy my children.
Don't get me wrong...there are no perfect days. Even on the good days there are meltdowns and impatient words occasionally. But on the good days, I am able to treat those imperfect moments as speed bumps rather than mountains. I am able to move on and continue living in the moment and finding such joy in the things that Luke comes out with, and Kate's chubby thighs and goofy grins and, her newest trick, raspberries! I am able to be more present to the older kids and listen patiently to ALL that Ellie has to say and be open to the times when my teenagers are willing to open up and share parts of themselves with me.
I'm a work in progress. Thankfully God has much more patience than I do:)
Have no dread or fear… the LORD, your God, carried you, as a man carries his child, all along your journey.
Deuteronomy 1:29, 31
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