Friday, June 1, 2012

Special Blessings

Yesterday I was thinking about when I first found out I was pregnant with Luke.  It was right before Christmas in 2008.  It had been almost 6 years since Ellen was born, and she had just stared Kindegarten.  That fall had been a big change for me.   I was pretty blue in September...grieving the end of our baby years.  I started working several mornings a week and was just starting to embrace this new chapter in our life.
There is a certain freedom in having all the kids in school...I had more time for myself...I was enjoying having the extra money, etc.

In the middle of December, I started to suspect something might be up.  I didn't say anything for a few days because I occasionally have wacky cycles.  I decided to mention the possibility of being pregnant the weekend we were going to put up the Christmas tree.  My plan was to wait until after the tree was up.  Putting up the tree is not always such a fun, joyous occasion!  With an autistic child running around, a sensory defensive teenager who hates when people sing(that's always so much fun...insert eye roll here), and just the general bickering that can occur among siblings, decorating the Christmas tree is usually not a Norman Rockwell scene in our house!

I figured I would see how it went.  I didn't want to announce that we might be having another child when we weren't sure we wanted to keep the ones we had!(kidding)  So I kept praying for the right moment to reveal my suspicion.

It was hard to keep quiet.  It was all I could think about.  Was there the tiniest baby growing inside of me?  How would I start the baby stage all over again?  How would we handle a baby with all of Peter's needs?  So many emotions...scared, excited, happy, confused...all at once.

Before we got the tree in the house, Jay gave me a random hug in the dining room.  He whispered, "Do you ever regret that we didn't have more children?"  That was obviously the moment I had been praying for!  I said, "Actually, honey..." and just let the silence speak for itself.  Jay got SO excited and ran right out to get a pregnancy test.  I wanted to wait a few more days but he couldn't wait another hour!  I am blessed to have a husband who loves children so much!

All the kids were happy and excited....even Mike who was almost 16 at the time.  We thought our lives were headed in another direction but God had other plans!

Now we have a baby and a's been awhile since we had that combo in our lives.  It's tough to juggle the older kids' sports and toddler's naps and baby nursing.  I'm not so sure the teenagers are thrilled when I'm nursing at their high school(or college) games but I think they do like all the attention they get for days afterwards  from people telling them how cute their sister is.(Except when people think the baby is theirs!)  Luke and Kate have kept the teenagers "home centered" because they don't want to miss anything and they don't want the little ones growing up not knowing them.

I am so grateful for the unexpected gifts of Luke and Kate.  They have brought a lot of joy and healing to our family.  I can't imagine life without them!

According To Denise