Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Crawling Out Of My Skin

Do you ever have one of those days when you are just crawling out of your own skin?  Since it is finally getting warmer here, it's time to change into spring/summer clothes.  Last spring I was 3 months pregnant and wearing maternity clothes.  And this year I have a nursing 5 month old and, even though I'm back to my pre-pregnancy weight(which is still 20 lbs. higher than I want to be), none of my spring/summer clothes fit right.  My waist line is still not back to where it was before...and, because of nursing, my chest is much larger than normal.

Some days I can feel ok with my body.  And some days not so much.  This is a "not so much" day.  I feel like every fiber from my clothes that touches my body is accentuating the rolls.  I can't stand the way the cloth touching me feels.  It's making me feel like crawling out of my skin.  It's making the chores I need to do take so long because I am having anxiety because of the way I feel.  I am struggling with patience with my kids because I am feeling so uncomfortable in my own skin.  I can't stand being touched right now.  And you know what happens when you are feeling like that....everyone wants hugs and to be held!

I do not lose weight easily.  I also lack fortitude.  I can work super hard at eating healthy and trying to exercise and only lost a pound or two.  That's so discouraging.  It's especially hard when I'm nursing.  I know for some people nursing makes it easier to lose weight.  Not me.  Losing weight goes extra slow when I'm nursing and I've been nursing for almost 3 continuous years.

I know I just need to keep working at it and not give up.(Sewing my mouth shut has a certain appeal too!)  I also need to make some time to go shopping and get some clothes that i feel comfortable in.  I just feel really negative and sensitive about it today.....