Wednesday, August 28, 2013

More Firsts and Lasts!

I'm happy to report that Sarah's first day at school went really well!  What a relief:)

I have not reached that moment where I can take a deep breath and sit back and absorb the changes and new routines, though!

Today is another first......

Jon starts his senior year of high school!

I think I am feeling this difficult growing up/letting go stage the most with Jon out of the oldest three boys.  I think it is because he is the "baby" of the group and he was always the most snuggly, 'very attached to mommy' boy when he was little.  He is still the most outwardly affectionate out of the three oldest boys. I can't believe he is a senior!

How does this happen?  You know, the great thing about having children close in age is that they grow up having special relationships.  The hard part is that the big growing up stages happen so close together that you don't have any time to emotionally recover between kids!

I mean, really, I let two grow up so far...isn't that enough?

I have to try extra hard to not hold on with a death grip let go little by little and give Jon more independence.  Today is just the first day of lasts.  The last first day of high school is exciting and bittersweet.  My hope and prayer is that this year is a fulfilling year for Jon.  I hope he works hard and fills his year with special moments so that, when that June day comes, he can look back on a senior year filled with no regrets...only happy memories!  

And I'm going to spend the next 9 months trying not to cry at every "last" memory!

Tonight is the parent meeting for the pre school classes at Luke's school.  Be still my heart!  This year is certainly a crash course in the 'art of letting go' for me!

Luke has a lot of similarities to Jon.  Luke is very attached to mom, has a teasing/mischievous streak that is Jon's trademark, and even looks more like Jon than any of his other brothers.  I cannot believe that this 'bonus baby' that we were so blessed with is 4!  Luke altered the course of my life in so many ways....all of them good.  Having the opportunity to carry and love a little baby when I thought that stage in our lives had ended has been such an incredible gift!

Then I blinked...and four years went by!  Now this little boy who is loved and doted on by, not only his parents,  but also all of his siblings, has a jr. size ll bean red backpack and a fire engine lunch box(courtesy of Grandma and Pa) ready and waiting to go!

As we get closer, I am second guessing myself......

Luke is a new four, and with an August birthday just making the September 1st cut-off date that would make him ready for Kindergarten in a year, there are lots of different opinions about whether kids should wait an extra year to start school.

The question of "Will he be ready next year?" has been in my head all summer.  I don't have a problem if he isn't ready next year.  There are definitely benefits to being the oldest in the class instead of the youngest.  At this age, 3-6 months of emotional development still make a huge difference.

On the other hand, if he is 'ready' next year, I don't think I would want to hold him back another year just because he would be a young 5.

I don't think there is any definitive way to know at this point.  What's bothering me the most is that, if he won't be ready next year and will have to do another year of pre-school anyway, I would rather keep him home with me one more year.  Even though he is only spending the mornings at school, I feel like I am cheating him out of time home with me if I send him to pre-school this year and then need to repeat pre-school next year.

And, to be honest, I would be cheating myself out of Luke's last year home, too.  Knowing how fast they grow up, (see the top of this post for an accurate example!), it is really bothering me that the choices aren't definitive!

Ironically, because all of the other kids have winter or spring birthdays, this topic has never been an issue before. (Well, Peter has a summer birthday but that's a whole different ball game!)

This is when I wish each child came with a parenting manual!  Right now, I'm just moving forward slowly, praying each step of the way for discernment about what's right for Luke!

Have you had to make the decision of starting a child with a late summer birthday?  How did it turn out?  Do you wish you had made a different choice?

Linking up with Shell today:)