Today's word is..........
SMALL
You know when you have one of those weeks that really kicks your butt! I've had one of those....
it's emotionally draining!
Peter is home for the next almost 4 weeks all day, every day. For anyone that has a special needs child...you know what I'm talking about! It's hard.....
And he obsesses about things over and over and over and over and over....well, you get the picture! Taking him to Church yesterday for the Holy Day without Jay and with Luke and Kate and most of my older kids was.not.fun.
Jay told me after he went to Mass at night that the homily was on fighting against discouragement.
Ironic, isn't it! I can't say I heard one word.
I did hear Peter ask for hash browns 600 times.(From Dunkin....he loves them)
He also wants to go for a ride to the town next to us. We don't know why he likes driving there. He just wants to go on the highway and get off at a particular exit and then drive home. And he asks to do it 800 times a day!
And he wants more dinosaur balloons. Particular balloons we get at IParty at the mall 25 minutes away. And he asks for them 400 times a day. Not one...but 2. Always has to be 2.
I feel so small and inadequate. And he tests my patience to the point of breaking when I ask him to do something...usually involving moving away from Luke because Peter plays this "game" where Peter goes right next to Luke to make him scream and hit Peter(yeah, fun!)......and he(with his 100 lb. 5 foot body) just lays there and looks at me without moving or saying anything! ARGGHHH! It's.so.frustrating!
Those old questions seep into my head...Why, God, can't he be "normal"? I just want him to act "normal" and do "normal" things and be able to do family things in a "normal" way!
And there is silence...and I give up wrestling with reality...pull up my big girl pants... and start a new day praying for the grace to be a better and more patient mom to all of my children today.
.....as Peter walks up to me and says, "Fairhaven, Mom?"
