Friday, October 26, 2012

The Joys of Teenagers

Okay, everyone!  It's Friday(hooray:)!  And another full day for me...but, in reality, what day isn't?

I'm joining in with 5 Minute Friday again!  Today's word is:

Voice

Talking to teenagers/young adults is a true challenge.  They are growing up and ready to start stepping out and making some of their own decisions and taking on more responsibility.  But they don't always have the best judgement.  When you try to help them correct their judgement, it seems to turn into a battle of wills and "You don't trust me" type comments.  Sometimes, for both parents and teens, it's so hard to truly "hear" what's being said!

We had a recent encounter over an issue that we felt was unsafe but Mike's opinion differed.  There was quite a bit of strife over it all.

One of the biggest struggles was how to use our voice in a way that would help him to understand where we were coming from and not just turn into a yelling match that had the possibility of developing family riffs!

In the end, Jay's calmness and honesty was able to break through Mike's previous porcupine demeanor.  It was a moment of grace from prayer and the Holy Spirit!  Previous exchanges about the subject always ended with hurt feelings and frustration for all of us.

It is hard to find the line between when to stand firm on what we think about a given situation and when it's time to give in and compromise as kids become young adults.  Definitely one of those difficult parenting moments for sure!

Comments (12)

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stopping by from five minute friday, love the post. I can only imagine how much harder it gets when they grow up. but you are right, grace and prayers can truly help. Have a wonderful weekend,
1 reply · active 648 weeks ago
I will be begging you for all your teenage advice in a few years! You are raising some GREAT ones!
1 reply · active 648 weeks ago
Thx...doesn't feel like it in the moment with Mike.It perplexes me how one child can be struggling with boundaries and faith and Andrew is giving witness talks at Stang about how faith is the most important part of our family?!?Frustrating...definitely increases my prayer life though!
Really like this.
1 reply · active 648 weeks ago
Yes and Amen! We raise them to have their own Voice and to step into it boldly... and yet - these in between years prove hard at times! We desire to let go in a speed and position that is honoring both to the kids and to the Lord... better to slowly gently let go - than to rip away... grace, calm, prayer - those are all brilliant ways to ever so slowly unclench our hands & release them in to who He has created them to be! I truly believe (and we shall see in a few years ourselves) that if done in love and honor... there is a letting go AND a holding on at the same time that becomes a way of life. (Just Breathe! You've got this!)
1 reply · active 648 weeks ago
Thank-you for the encouragement!It is very needed!
Michelle
I love this post. I love when I allow the voice of the Omniscient One to come forth through me. With ease. With grace. The places that appeared crooked do become straight. So happy for you and your family.
1 reply · active 648 weeks ago
Thanks..it was a very hairy, stressful moment with a happy ending..Sooo thankful!
Hi Michelle, if only I could sit with you and ask you questions for an hour about raising teenagers. I love learning from more experienced moms. I love the phrase porcupine demeanor. Great job. I can already hear the rumblings of these "I know better than mom and dad" moments coming. Leaning on grace and the holy spirit (or trying to). Thanks for stopping by my blog for FMF.
1 reply · active 648 weeks ago
Thanks...definitely need the Holy Spirit with teenagers!!!

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