Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Waiting and Listening

I've prayed the Our Father countless times over the course of my life.  It's probably the second prayer I learned.  (The first was the "Now I lay me down to sleep...." prayer that I used to say every night with my Dad from as far back I can remember.)

Sometimes, when you know something by heart, it's easier to repeat the words without really praying the words.  I find myself guilty of this often.  Prayer is more like a checklist than a moment of intimacy with God. It's another one of those downfalls of multitasking...I can be saying the words but my mind(and my heart) are a million miles away.

I find the line "Give us this day our daily bread" so meaningful right now.  I feel it in my weekly struggle to live within our budget.  I feel it in my prayers for providing Jay with enough patient visits to provide for us.  I feel it in my desire for balance in our chaotic life.  I feel it in my prayers to Live in the Moment.  I feel it in my Christmas planning.  I feel it in my prayers for other family members and friends that are struggling emotionally and financially right now.

Lately, my world has been shrinking.  Cold and stormy weather has kept me and the two little ones inside most of the time...and with winter coming, that situation will only get worse.   I honestly don't enjoy going out once it's dark.  So, now that it's dark before Jay even gets home from work, there's no motivation to get out of the house then either.

Introspection usually follows 'hibernation'...and I certainly have been feeling more thoughtful.  I still feel a lot of uncertainty after the results of last weeks election, and the changes in Jay's job, and trying to organize my house.  My thoughts/actions towards this year's holiday season have been on my mind, too.

Where I am right now reminds me of the title of the Stormie Omartian book, Just Enough Light For the Step I'm On.  I've got that "You are here" feeling, but not so sure where we will be heading next.  It's an opportunity for patience...and to really focus on Living in this Moment until I feel the nudge to take whatever direction God is leading us.

I'm waiting and listening(or at least trying to's awful noisy in our house!) .

Thankful Thought #14

I'm thankful I got out of the house for a couple of errands today and found a construction site that Luke loved watching from the car for a while.  It makes him sooo happy to see excavators working:)