Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Waiting and Listening

I've prayed the Our Father countless times over the course of my life.  It's probably the second prayer I learned.  (The first was the "Now I lay me down to sleep...." prayer that I used to say every night with my Dad from as far back I can remember.)

Sometimes, when you know something by heart, it's easier to repeat the words without really praying the words.  I find myself guilty of this often.  Prayer is more like a checklist than a moment of intimacy with God. It's another one of those downfalls of multitasking...I can be saying the words but my mind(and my heart) are a million miles away.

I find the line "Give us this day our daily bread" so meaningful right now.  I feel it in my weekly struggle to live within our budget.  I feel it in my prayers for providing Jay with enough patient visits to provide for us.  I feel it in my desire for balance in our chaotic life.  I feel it in my prayers to Live in the Moment.  I feel it in my Christmas planning.  I feel it in my prayers for other family members and friends that are struggling emotionally and financially right now.

Lately, my world has been shrinking.  Cold and stormy weather has kept me and the two little ones inside most of the time...and with winter coming, that situation will only get worse.   I honestly don't enjoy going out once it's dark.  So, now that it's dark before Jay even gets home from work, there's no motivation to get out of the house then either.

Introspection usually follows 'hibernation'...and I certainly have been feeling more thoughtful.  I still feel a lot of uncertainty after the results of last weeks election, and the changes in Jay's job, and trying to organize my house.  My thoughts/actions towards this year's holiday season have been on my mind, too.

Where I am right now reminds me of the title of the Stormie Omartian book, Just Enough Light For the Step I'm On.  I've got that "You are here" feeling, but not so sure where we will be heading next.  It's an opportunity for patience...and to really focus on Living in this Moment until I feel the nudge to take whatever direction God is leading us.

I'm waiting and listening(or at least trying to listen....it's awful noisy in our house!) .

Thankful Thought #14

I'm thankful I got out of the house for a couple of errands today and found a construction site that Luke loved watching from the car for a while.  It makes him sooo happy to see excavators working:)

Comments (10)

Loading... Logging you in...
  • Logged in as
I'm terrible at waiting sometimes- something I need to work on!
1 reply · active 645 weeks ago
lol...me, too.God always seem to provide for the opportunities when we need to work on something!
I can totally relate to "my world has been shrinking" phrase. The unknown frustrates me too but I'm slowly learning what's meant by the saying "just keep doing the next right thing."
1 reply · active 645 weeks ago
It's so hard, isn't it!Fear of the unknown can be so paralyzing!It takes real effort to stay connected and keep the sparks of hope going.
Michelle
I have been feeling pretty disconnected from my friends lately. Busy-ness and STUFF. But I'm in my own little world so I can't blame them. Would be easier if I could!
1 reply · active 645 weeks ago
It's not good to be isolated.The longer we feel that disconnect the harder it is to reconnect.Call or email someone very soon and make a shopping date, or a breakfast/lunch/dinner date, or even just a coffee date....it's important.Life is hard enough without feeling alone!I'm making the effort to do the same thing...I know I reall need it!We can encourage each other in taking the first step:)
Michelle
Thats why I am drawn to catholic prayers. the words are the same every time...even when your mind is full of worry and your heart is heavy you can still say the same "monotous" paryer and its comforting. You may think you aren't getting anything out of it but I am sure on some level you are. At least thats just my opinion :)
1 reply · active 645 weeks ago
I agree...it's like a life line:)
I remember those long days stuck in the house with little ones...and feeling somewhat isolated and reflective about life, yet feeling distant from true effective prayer or anything productive, it felt. I have been there. Your post was authentic and beautifully written!
1 reply · active 645 weeks ago

Post a new comment

Comments by