I am still not in a "blogging roll" this week. I still find myself feeling introspective and slightly overwhelmed at all the busyness in our lives this week.
I was able to go to a talk last night that was put on by a woman's group at my parish. The speaker, Fr. David, was very good and I really enjoyed it. It was the first time that I left Kate to do something for me. I missed her...but it was nice to be able to pay attention to something spiritual. I actually focused on his talk for over an hour! That's a record for me lately.
There were a few things that he said that spoke to me. He was talking about spiritual direction and how he was taught that when someone comes to him with something they want to share they usually present it to him as a closed rose. It's his job to help them to peel back the petals of the rose of what they have shared so that they can understand it more fully. Because, as Fr. Dave said, "A rose is most beautiful fully opened."
So I was thinking of this image of a beautiful, closed rose. And I was thinking about how many roses God has given me over my life....moments of truth, or a spiritual gift of understanding....and how often the roses failed to fully open. Why? Sometimes it's because I didn't take the time to sit in the quiet and try to understand the depths of what I was given. Sometimes it's because I didn't share what I'd been given so it withered earlier than it should have. Sometimes it's because I didn't ask for help to understand it so it never got to open to its full potential.
It's hard to share parts of your true self. It makes me feel so vulnerable to share the real me...uncensored!
Sometimes posts that I write make me want to "turtle" and just hide in my shell...that little voice inside my head yelling, "How could you share that with people?"
On the flip side, there's something freeing about sharing your thoughts and feelings, too. My feelings are real and meaningful to me. Writing them is for me. If other people can relate to or be encouraged by something I write then that's like icing on a cake! :)
I don't know about you....but I love icing!!!