Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Seeking Normal Chaos

I'm hoping to keep my promise from yesterday!  It's been quite the roller coaster here this week!  It's the kind of week where 'normal chaos' would be a very welcome change indeed!

Saturday was a day filled with so many ups and downs that it was ridiculous!

Our house has held a little more stress since Lent started a day early for us this year!  (for anyone not familiar, my husband had been exposed to bedbugs in his job as a home care physical therapist.  Thankfully, he realized it before he got in the house, but the fear that somehow our home could have been exposed has made life extra stressful!)

Luke has had a rash for about a week and a half and it got visibly worse on Saturday.  Because of the whole situation, Jay was freaking out really concerned that they were bedbug bites.  I didn't think they were because of the way they looked, the fact that they weren't at all itchy, and the fact that Luke is in my bed with Kate and I and neither of us had anything on us.

For peace of mind, Jay called up a company that deals with bedbugs and other pests and they just happened to have an opening for someone to come by Saturday around noon.  If there was an issue, we wanted to deal with it sooner than later.

While we were waiting for the inspector to come by, I got a call from my mom telling me that one of my uncles that our family is very close to was just diagnosed with kidney cancer.  That was tough news to hear.  My Uncle Paul is having surgery to remove one kidney next week so if you could say a prayer for him and his family that would be great.  My Aunt Eileen, Paul's wife, is my dad's sister and they just lost my grandmother in December from cancer so this has been an extra tough few months for them.

The inspector arrived right on schedule and Jay walked around the house with him as he thoroughly examined beds and couches for any signs of bed bugs.  Thanks be to God, there was absolutely nothing!  It was the best money that we ever spent!  It took away about 90% of Jay's worry!(because he is so traumatized!)

What a relief that was!  We had lunch and felt almost "normal" for the first time in weeks!

Then, we opened the mail....and Jay had a letter from his per diem employer telling him that they were cutting payments per visit by 30%.  Ouch.

It was such an emotionally exhausting day!

Fear is hard to work through.  The fear has made him re-think staying in home care, wanting to ever go stay at a hotel again, and even fearful about going to the movies since, supposedly, bedbugs has become an issue in some theaters.

And then there is the issue of his car....

Since he noticed the bedbugs on his coat(which was disposed of along with everything else he was wearing that day) and his bag(ditto) when he was in his car, the company he worked for paid to have his car sprayed by a bug company.  They spray 3 times, 2 weeks apart each time, and Jay hasn't been in his car since the day of "the incident".  It makes sense to be 100% sure that the life cycle of the bug is stopped and let the spray kill anything that might have still been in the car.  He has been borrowing Jon's car or my dad's car to work in.  Spray # 3 will be done next week, but I don't know if he will ever feel safe in his car again.

He's already gone pretty OCD on us.  He did go all Chuck Norris on a lady bug the other day...and he is constantly inspecting bits of fuzz on the floor to make sure "it isn't moving".  Sarah and I have threatened him that we are going to squirt him with a water bottle...just like squirting a cat you are trying to keep from scratching!

I have banned him from the laundry room because he throws everything  on the sanitize cycle!  When I was in bed with a migraine on Monday night and Jay was stressing that Luke's rash was caused by flea bites, he took advantage and washed all kinds of blankets and coats(again)!  I took Luke to the doctor's on Tuesday morning to appease Jay...I had read Dr. Sear's and told him I thought it was just a viral thing.....and that's what the diagnosis was!

It's just hard because it isn't easy, or inexpensive, to replace a car.  Jay has done home care for almost 10 years and something like this has never happened before.  I just want the stress in our lives to go back to normal levels.  I worry that if we keep the car, he will spend the next several months(or even a year) constantly stressing about possible exposure.(and lots of extra showering, fear, and use of the sanitizing cycle!

It's not a new is sporting 120,000 miles...but it wasn't ready to be replaced.  And it isn't really in the budget to be replaced!  Heck, I've spent the last couple of months trying to create a real budget to better track our spending!

I don't know...but this has been one doozy of a Lent so far!  I am so ready for Easter!

(I let Jay read this before I posted it and he said it was "very honest but made him sound like a whack job".  Anyone that knows my husband can attest that he is no "whack job"!  He is just going through some PTSD.  Ironically, he is always the calm, level headed one so the fact that I am being (mostly) calm and level headed for this extended period of time is proof of the amount of grace God is giving us as we work through this trial!)