As you have more children, you learn to let go of things a lot easier. It's just not possible to completely micromanage everything when there are so many people in the house. As each child came, it made it easier to distinguish things that were really important and things that really are not as big a deal to warrant my time and energy.
Peter especially helps us let go of expectations. There are some things that are just not worth fighting over. For example, he has lots of issues with the clothes he wears. He has a couple of favorite shirts and pants that he wants to wear to school ALL THE TIME! When he's home he wants to wear shorts, or pajama pants, and a t-shirt no matter how cold it is outside. The minute he walks in the door after school he is in his room changing. I have to make sure that the favorite school clothes end up in the wash. He tries to just fold them and put them back in his drawer. Then, in my sleep deprived mornings, I have to try and remember what he wore the day before. Usually a sniff test will tell me if its clean...but if it isn't, the battle ensues to get him to change without major meltdowns that will set the tone of his day.(His poor teachers!) I occassionally write to them to tell them that Peter has a drawer full of really nice shirts and pants in many different colors. It makes me feel better...sometimes I just feel like a terrible parent. I know they understand..after all, all the kids in Peter's special class have a number of quirks. I just wish that sometimes the simple things, like wearing different clothes every day, weren't so difficult.
But, really, it could be so much worse. So what if Peter took a walk around the neighborhood with Jay yesterday in his Patriots pajama pants? Or if he is wearing the gray jogging pants to school again today! At least they are clean.......I think?!? I'm going to run and do that sniff test!