Tuesday, April 24, 2012

O Snappy Day

Tuesdays are a hectic day for me because I work for my parents salon in the morning.  I woke up this morning after an awful dream.  (In the dream I felt insecure and inferior and because of my feelings I got into a car accident and Luke got hurt:(...definitely not a happy dream.)  I felt stressed about doing everything that needed to be done before I had to leave.  I also felt frustrated because I didn't get to exercise yesterday and wouldn't be able to today either.  

I felt all the negative feelings starting to bubble up and threaten to take over the day and it wasn't even 7am yet.  I was already starting to be a little snappy with Jay, who managed to wake himself up early to get a workout in.  I didn't want to be cranky, but I was definitely feeling frustrated.

Kate wanted to nurse so I sat down at the computer to check my emails.  I received the following from Catholic Digest:

Today's Quiet Moment

Tuesday, April 24

Do not give yourself over to sorrow,
and do not distress yourself deliberately.
A joyful heart is life itself,
and rejoicing lengthens one’s life span.
Indulge yourself and take comfort,
and remove sorrow far from you,
for sorrow has destroyed many,
and no advantage ever comes from it.…
Those who are cheerful and merry at table
will benefit from their food.
Sirach 30:21-23, 25

I definitely felt it was a direct message for me today.  Part of me wanted to hold onto the chip on my shoulder...it makes me feel that my anger is validated. Plus, it's easier to just feel angry instead of looking at why I feel angry...feeling inferior and unhappy with my body image are definitely feelings I would rather avoid.  However, not being snappy to my family and not taking out my negative feelings on them won out(at least at that moment...unfortunately that's not always the case).  The morning went back on track and my emotions were a little calmer.

Why does being calm and loving and positive often feel like such a difficult task?