In a lot of ways, I'm in that same emotional place of letting go this year, too. In just a few weeks, Sarah will be graduating from high school and Ellie will graduate from middle school. Kate starts full day kindergarten(!) in the Fall, Andrew will be finishing up his college degree(he had a conflict so he needed an extra semester), and Jon will be entering his senior year of college and applying to grad school.
You think by now I would be used to this growing up and letting go stuff!
But I'm not...
I think going through it with daughters is like doing it for the first time all over again. Having your beautiful, almost 18 year old daughter heading to college is a lot scarier than when our 6'+ sons were heading off to start their college adventures. I didn't worry about their safety as much as I will worry about Sarah. And I'm not ready to have this young women enter even more into an independent life....she's my reliable helper and it's going to be an adjustment having her even more busy than she already is! We will all just miss not having her around....
And even though, at 24 years into this parenting adventure, I still don't always sleep through the night, still do lots of laundry, and my children still call my name....I don't mind so much. I know that the nights that Luke has a nightmare or Kate wants to snuggle and know I'm there are numbered. I sleep through the night as much as or more than I hear "Mommy" at 3am these days.
That laundry means that there are still people living in our home....and with our oldest already moved out and two others getting close to graduating and moving on to the next step in their lives, I know their daily presence in home is fleeting and I'm in no hurry for that time to pass quickly.
My children still call my name during the day, but it's less for squirmishes..(at least most of the time!).. and more for conversation. They talk about their days, their ideas for college, trips, and grad school, and their job opportunities. I do more listening and praying...they make more decisions. I'm grateful to hear their deeper voices and that I still get to be a part of their lives.
Ultimately, it's our goal for parenting...that they become independent, emotionally healthy, faithful adults.
Regardless of how proud I am as my kids grow and start to step out on their own, for us mamas, this letting go is not easy!