Ready.Set.Graduation(s)!

Peter's IEP meeting went well.  It was very looooong because it was his 3 year evaluation...which means lots more testing...and he is also aging out of his program this year so we got to hear a little of what we can expect from his new program next fall.

We had a small army as Peter's 'team'...there was our sped director, the behaviorist, the psychiatrist, the Occupational therapist, the speech therapist that is the head of his home therapy program, the Occupational therapy assistant, the speech therapist that treats Peter at school, Peter's current classroom teacher, the woman that will be his teacher next year, the director of the Collaborative that Peter's class belongs to, plus me and Jay!  

How many people does it take to put together an IEP?  Apparently 12!  lol

Everything went well, though, and next year's plan is in place.  We will see how it goes with a transition to a new school and a bigger class.  A couple of the kids were in Peter's class last year.  The positive side of that is they are familiar faces.  The negative side is that they tend to play off of each other and cause behaviors.:(  

So...we will just have to see how that goes!  I'm not going to even going to worry about it until September!

I have to say that the psychiatrist, who I was meeting for the first time, was incredibly positive and had some interesting ideas as to certain behaviors of Peter's that we discussed.  She praised the way Peter took the tests that she administered and really highlighted the areas that are his strengths.  She had done extra supplemental tests that, though they didn't 'count' towards the score, showed that he had skills in areas that didn't show up on the main test only because he struggled to understand the directions or abstract connections.  I really appreciated that! 

The only real hard part of the meeting was hearing about the new program.  While it certainly contains a lot of academics, they begin to focus more on daily living skills.  

That was a little tough.  Knowing that the focus is the highest level of independence and community involvement that Peter is capable of just makes the reality of his diagnosis and disabilities that much more permanent.

I don't have any illusions that, without a miracle(which I still pray for), Peter will wake up one day and be a neurotypical child.  Our long term financial and emotional plans have accepted Peter as having a permanent disability and finding out the ways to protect him and make sure he will always be able to get the care he needs.  Along with praying that miracle prayer, my daily prayer is that one(or several) of his siblings will be open and able to care for him when the day comes that we are no longer able to.  My prayer extends to include the openness of my future grandchildren to care for their Uncle Peter as well.

Some things just aren't easy.....

But........today is a day to celebrate!

Mike is graduating from Community College!  I've tried to make the day special for him....starting with breakfast out with just Jay and then special food, a special cake, and a surprise night planned with friends.(Yeah...I decided to surprise him:)

The celebration at our house continues into Sunday when Andrew graduates from high school!

I'm sure I will have lots of pictures to share on Monday!(I have made the cake part and the cheesecake part of the oreo cheesecake cake....so far so good!  I will make the frosting and put it together first thing tomorrow morning!  Pics to follow of that, too!)

Until then, I hope to get through my to-do list before the celebration begins!(or at least the parts that really, really have to get done!)

I hope you have a great weekend, too!  As my friend, Colleen, likes to say...."See you on the flip side!":)

What Numbers Can't Define

Today is Peter's IEP meeting.  It's a non-fun meeting where teachers and therapists try to focus on all the positive gains your special needs child has accomplished while trying to trouble shoot the areas that are "problem areas" and I have to "sit in the truth" of all the ways Peter is in no way, shape, or form even close to other kids his age.

Definitely.not.fun:(

I do have to say that we are blessed to live in the town that we are in because the special education program has always been generous and supportive.  I know lots of people have had to fight long and hard to get their kids the services they need.  Honestly, we have always been given everything we have asked for.  Thank-you, God!  (and that's why we can never move out of our town!)

This year in particular is a 3 year re-evaluation meeting which means that Peter underwent a whole bunch of extra testing...that generated many, many pages of reports for me to read.  Well...skim.  Well..most of them. I'm trying!

It's a tad depressing.  Like the meeting, the reports force me to see my child and his struggles put into numbers on paper.

Is it a surprise?....not at all.

But it still hurts.

When I finished reading the psychological assessment(7 pages and yes, I did read the whole thing!), and the numbers staring at me on the page telling me that my almost 12 year old has cognitive and learning abilities equal to that of a 3 year old in two areas, a 5 yr 10mth old in another area, and a 6 year old in yet another area....it made me take a deep, painful breath and think, "Ok, God, what the hell am I supposed to do with this?"

Since I tend to "numb out" for a while before all my emotions seep through, it gives me a short hiatus to pray and try to figure it all out...hopefully before the crash of emotions!


After I read the report I was sitting on the couch with the beginnings of a headache.  Luke was asleep but Kate had a longer nap today and was walking around playing and being cute.  She found Peter sitting on the floor with his IPad.  Kate loves him....she calls him "Pete".  Kate pokes at him and Pete makes her laugh.  They were playing like this tonight when Peter called out, "I take a picture?"  Which, in Peter speak means he wants me to take a picture...

I got up off the couch to see this....

This was the gift I was given tonight while I wrestled with my thoughts and feelings.

To remind me that my son is more than his academic and intellectual inabilities.......

Peter has a great capacity to love and be loved.

Kate loves him because he is "Pete".....and "Pete" obviously adores his baby sister, too!

When Jay was getting Peter ready for bed tonight, Peter wasn't listening very well.  Jay told him, "Peter you are frustrating me!"

And Peter said, "Why?"

Jay answered, "Because you aren't going to bed!"

I looked at Jay....it was the first time Peter ever asked the question, "Why?"  He has never, ever said it before.

It's amazing how one simple word can mean so much!

So, I am wearing my Alex and Ani 'Hope' bracelet to the meeting to remind me that no matter what is said, God has a plan for Peter and a purpose that is more than a sum of his skills....or numbers on a report.

Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my help and my God.

Psalm 43:4-5

Patience, Please!

Wednesday, Wednesday, Wednesday.....

It's amazing how far away the long weekend already feels for me!  I feel like Tuesday morning was like the "launch" from the Wipeout's Final Round and I haven't stopped since!

Last night was Andrew's awards night.  He received several awards....way to go, Andrew!  The best part was that since we left all the other kids home with my parents, Jay and I actually got to sit in the second row(!) and...wait for it....pay attention to the entire awards ceremony!

This morning Sarah reminded me that her class was performing different songs from the musical, Cats, this afternoon.  (I had forgotten...and it was even written on the calendar!  I put it in my phone so I would get a reminder ring just in case I forgot again...sadly, it has happened before!)

So, after hosting book club with 2 of my friends and my s.i.l. this morning, I headed out to see Sarah with Kate and Luke in tow.

I should have left them home.....

The 'fruit snack' bribe lasted through the first 2 songs.  Midway through the third song, Kate let known her displeasure at sitting still.  When I got up to try and keep her quiet, Luke took it as his key to wander, too.  We were in the back of the auditorium so it wasn't too bad...other than the fact that I was only partially watching the 8th graders and mostly watching to make sure Luke didn't get into trouble.(Like trying to climb on the folded up lunch tables, or trying to open up the door to the playground, or writing on/erasing the chalkboard...and, yes, he tried all these things at least once...and the chalkboard several times!)

Then, the kids re-performed one of the dances because one of the girl's moms was late and missed her daughter..which I thought was really nice!  Then the kids wanted to do their final act again.  Which was nice for them....

...Not so much for the mom(yes, I mean me) getting frustrated, sweat dripping down my back from corralling the kids and stressing that they were going to be loud, and feeling aggravated that they wouldn't just sit still!(For crying out stinking loud!)

There's nothing that makes me feel like a failure more than poor behavior by my younger set in a public situation where almost everyone knows us!  There was another family with 2 little ones just about the same ages as Luke and Kate who didn't utter a sound...well, one of them slept through half of it in his carriage but still!  And, granted, both mom and dad were there so they had a man-to-man defense while I was forced to play a zone defense......

But still!

I hate looking like I "have my hands full" and I always worry that I seem so chaotic and that my kids are out of control...

And I really wanted to avoid the "I feel like a bad parent therefore, it makes me lose my patience even easier in a stressful situation."

And I really, really wanted to avoid becoming "Unglued" (which is the name of the book we are reading in book club!), and become the "If looks could kill, hissing talking through gritted teeth, wait til I get you home and you will never have desserts again....never play outside...I will give away all your toys....insert your own empty idea here....type of threats"  that make me look like an even worse mom because now I am behaving as badly as my kid(s)!

Arrrgghhh...sooooooo frustrating!

Obviously I have some work to do with patience for myself....and sitting still and listening for Luke.  (and Kate eventually, too...but at 17 months there is only so much that I can expect!)

On a positive note, all the 8th graders did great and looked cute!

Sarah and friend having a "cat fight":)

the "purrfect" pose:)

Ahhh....the joys of parenthood!

Linking in with Shell at Things I Can't Say because....well...I just said it!


 

Just Keep Planning.....

Trying to get back into a groove after a long weekend is never easy!

I want to start this post with a belated "Thank-You" to all of the men and women that have served, and are currently serving our country!  Thank-you for the sacrifices that you and your families have made!

Our weekend was very productive with both projects and planning for future projects....a.k.a our 3 year kitchen expansion project.  Jay got a lot done...and, as always, it was sad to see the weekend come to an end!

Andrew had a great time at prom on Friday.  The weather here was pretty lousy on Friday, but thankfully, there was a 2 hour break in the rain to get pictures before they left for the prom.  Thank-you, God!

Tonight is senior awards night.  Then, we have a little breather until Peter's IEP meeting Friday morning and then this crazy busy weekend filled with lots of accomplishments!  Mike graduates on Saturday morning at 11, Andrew's Baccalaureate Mass is at 6:30 Saturday night, and Andrew's graduation ceremony is on Sunday at 2!

I am feeling quite overwhelmed at all I am juggling and trying to make sure that I make things special for them.

Oh, and the other kids still need attention, too!:)

It's just a little extra chaos.....

I am especially trying to give Mike his time to shine!  I feel bad that we can't spend the whole day Saturday focused on him and celebrating and spending time as a family.  First they share a birthday...now a graduation day!  Oy!

So far my ideas to make sure Mike doesn't feel slighted are a late lunch following his graduation with the family members able to attend, followed by an extra special cake back at home that my sil, Jackie, found online.  It's an oreo cheescake cake...get ready to drool!

First you bake an oreo cheesecake and then you bake a homemade chocolate cake and then you put it all together with homemade frosting!  It's going to be a lot of work...but a labor of love to make Mike feel special!  I'm going to make it on Friday and hide it in my mother's fridge!

I'm also planning on getting some of his friends together for snacks and games and smores that night so that, while most of us are at the Mass for Andrew, he doesn't feel like we just ditched him!  I'm not sure whether I want to try and organize the friend get together part as a surprise or not.......but I have to decide by tomorrow to give them some notice!

For Andrew, Sunday I'm thinking we will have food(probably cookout or pizza) and cake after his graduation.  His cake will be from Jay's mom because Andrew loves her cake!  (He told her that he wants her to make his wedding cake someday!:)

I'm planning a big graduation bash for both of them later on in June with extended family!

(and I have to get going with sending out invitations for that, too!)

...and then there's all the emotions over having your two oldest children graduate and get ready to take the next step in their lives!  Yeah..."Ain't nobody got time for that!"

My mantra for the next 36 hours needs to be ala Dory..."Just keep planning, just keep planning, just keep planning, planning, planning...."

I hope you had a great weekend:)

A Blast From the Past!

It was prom night for Andrew on Friday.  Can I just say that it is so ridiculous at how easy guys have it for prom readiness.  Pick out the tux, try on the tux, pick up the tux the night before the dance.  Shower and shave.

Done.

Though he could have used a haircut...(Andrew disagrees!)

Here is a pic of Andrew and Courtney:)

It's making me a little nostalgic for the days when I had time, and the reason, to spend a whole lot of time getting ready for something and then getting to go somewhere special and having a great time with my friends without any responsibilities at home.

In my former life, BK(before kids, not Burger King...I'm not a fan of fast food chains and that one in particular!)..

But I digress...

In my former life, BK, I used to get ready for a night out with a bath.  By myself.  With hot water and whatever my Bath and Body Works smell of the month was.  And I would soak and scrub as.long.as.I.wanted.

Then, I got to pick out clothes that I liked and fit well....true bliss.

Back then, I actually got to blow dry and style my hair!  That's a luxury these days.  Usually, after helping everyone else get ready, we are already running late and I forget to take care of my hair until we are in the car driving away!:(  Or I throw it up in a ponytail.  If I'm lucky, I get to have a "fancy" hair day if I can find a hair clip to use.(Usually stolen borrowed from Sarah....daughters can be very useful!)

I'm out of luck if I'm in need of a color, though, because ponytails or an "up-do" accentuate my gray!

I didn't have that problem BK either!

I posted a couple of pictures of Andrew and Courtney Friday night on Facebook.  My high school friend, Ann-Marie, commented  that it seemed like just yesterday it was us at our prom.  That inspired me to go digging for some old photos of our special night 21 years ago.  Big hair and puffy sleeves were the "in thing" in the early 90's!:)

Are you ready.......

A blast from the past!:)

Bring on the Long Weekend!

Linking up with 7 Quick Takes Friday....

This has been such a busy and exciting week!  It's the first of many to come!

1.  History Fair

Sarah competed in her middle school's History Fair for the last time last Friday.  She did her report on D-Day.  She spent a lot of time researching and learning her topic and she knew it inside and out.  Sarah also borrowed my grandfather's WWII medals and some of his pictures from his time in the Navy.  My grandfather was on one of the supply ships in the D-Day attack at Normandy Beach.  It's still emotional for him to talk about almost 70 years later, but he was happy to share his medals and pictures with Sarah.  He was also very proud when she won the Grand Prize!(and so were we:)

Sarah with her project

Sarah with my dad and Luke and her trophy:)

2, 3, and 4.  Birthday, Birthday, Birthday!

We had a family party for Sarah on Saturday.  Sunday was Sarah's actual 14th birthday and my grandmother's 94th birthday celebration!  My extended family was at my parent's house to celebrate!

Sarah with her cute flip flop cake courtesy of my mother-in-law:)

My grandmother with all the great-grandkids:)..and no, they aren't all mine!
Just most of them;)

Look how cute she is...well...how cute they are:)
And I love the way my grandmother's feet dangle and don't touch the ground!:)

 Monday was my grandmother's real birthday and the anniversary of our daughter, Therese's birthday, too.

5. Award Nights

Both Andrew and Jon received different awards on the same night, so Jay and I had to split up!  

Andrew received a scholarship after a nice dinner from The Polish Woman's Club.

Andrew with Jay's mom(who is a member)

 Jon received the Pope Pius X Award at a special ceremony at the Cathedral.

Mike received an academic award on Thursday night at an awards ceremony at BCC.  Sorry no picture!  My sister and mil pinch hit for us because Sarah's class put on an Appreciation Dinner for the parents.
(see #6)
I wish I could bilocate!
(Jon wouldn't have had any pictures if it hadn't been for Andrew's girlfriend, Courtney, who was at the Pope Pius X award and reminded Jay at the appropriate photo ops!(Thx, Courtney:)

Great job boys!  

6.  Appreciation Dinner

The 8th graders as well as some of their teachers put together a delicious Turkey dinner as well as salad, soup, and dessert!  It was great! (the servers did a great job, too!)

7.  Finished!

Mike and Andrew have both finished finals and are now just waiting for graduation next weekend!  Honestly, I can't believe it!
Tonight is Andrew's prom!

Change is coming...whether I'm ready or not!

Hope your long weekend is fabulous!  

I cannot wait to have Jay home with us for 3 whole days!

The Middle

Last night was the season finale of The Middle.  We don't watch too many tv shows as a family.  Actually, only 4...The Middle, Shark Tank, Biggest Loser and Masterchef.  (Jay and Sarah watch Person of Interest together, too....but that isn't a "whole family" show!)

The Middle is a favorite because it makes us laugh.  The family on the show, the Heck family, are a middle class family that struggle all the time to have more money than month.  They are kind of like a "real family" but all of their personalities are exaggerated just enough to make it completely hilarious!  

Last night's finale focused, in part, on the oldest son, Axl,  graduating from high school.  Much of the episode revolved around bickering between Axl and his "mom", Frankie Heck.   At one point the dad, Mike, tells the mom something to the effect that they need the bickering so that it makes it easier to handle the separation that is coming up.

"Maybe mama birds don't push their babies from the nest because they're ready; maybe it's because they are sick of them!" Mike Heck

Well, I have to tell you that Jay and I laughed out loud and enjoyed a good "look" with each other over that!  

And even though I don't think I have gone, or will go as far, as Frankie did butting heads with Axl...the Mama Pajama dance for fellow Middle fans!...

The gist of what they are getting at is so true!

The last few months with Mike have been an emotional roller coaster!  Since finally making his decision to go to Assumption, things have gotten much easier most days.  He's likable again...at least most of the time!

Change is hard.  Letting go is even harder.

It was just really nice to laugh about it last night!