I observed a positive moment today with Peter I thought I would share. After school today he requested watermelon that Sarah had left on the counter. As I cut up the watermelon and put it into a bowl, Peter began running around the house in his usual Peter style. He eventually made his way back into the kitchen and snagged a piece of watermelon out of the bowl. I yelled to him from the living room, (we have an open floor plan), to please go wash his hands(so watermelon juice didn't get everywhere) and to use a fork. We ask Peter to do a lot of things and usually he doesn't understand them or he just ignores it.
To my great surprise, he eventually made his way back to the kitchen. He reached for another piece of watermelon...and stopped. Peter turned around, opened the silverware drawer and......got a fork! Not only did he get a fork....he actually used it!
I know it's only a small step, but it was a very pleasant surprise!
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
The Terrible....I Mean, The Terrific Two's
Luke has definitely been more challenging in the last few weeks. He is generally a happy, go lucky kid as well as very busy! Several weeks ago the phrase, "All by myself" became very commonplace in our home. Even the way Luke says the phrase,"I gonna wash my hands, all by myyyyy self!"....is always said ending with an exclamation point!
In the last two weeks he has begun screaming, and occasionally having full blown tantrums, when he doesn't get his way. Staying calm and trying to acknowledge his feelings and redirecting his attention is definitely a challenge. His older brothers look at me and ask, "What's up with Luke?" To which I always answer, "It's just a phase. Don't worry, he will out grow it." The best thing about having other kids is that you have experienced that "This too shall pass." And, in this case, I can say, "This two shall pass!" Sorry, bad pun...I live with lots of "punny" people in this house!
Luke loves trucks. I mean, Luke really, really, really LOVES trucks! Last summer, we had to have our septic system redone and we put a garage onto our house. So there were quite a few weeks when Luke had the pleasure of watching trucks right in his own backyard. That is when his love of trucks began.
Luke would play at night and on the weekends with his smaller versions of the "big trucks" digging in our yard, which resembled a giant sand box. When the major work was finished, Jay built Luke a large sand box to play in. Luke loves it and is outside playing in it whenever it isn't too cold or rainy.
When we drive in the car, Luke is always looking for trucks. His high pitched voices gets even squeakier when he sees them and he is always so in awe, as if he's seeing them for the very first time! His favorite truck is an excavator....or as Luke says it an "esafator". He loves looking at pictures of excavators on the computer and on Jay's iphone. He can look at a dozen different pictures and each one will draw the same response, "Wow, an esafator."...."Wow, an esafator." It's really completely adorable!
Last week I was looking online for excavator videos for him to watch. A website came up offering a package deal with a video of trucks, a video with truck songs, a cd with truck songs and a tshirt for only $19.99. I thought he would love it! It arrived on Saturday morning and he wanted to wear the shirt and watch the video and he did love it. He loved it so much that on Sunday morning he threw a tantrum because he wanted to wear the truck shirt again but it needed to be washed. So, daddy threw in a load of colors so that Luke could see it getting clean. Luke wasn't thrilled but he was very distracted because we were at his cousin's house most of the day at her Baptism party.
That night after his bath, Luke was tired and grumpy. Guess what the first thing was he said after his bath? "The truck shirt is clean!!! I wear it?" And he ran into the laundry room to find it. He was so happy to have it on again. And in the morning, there was no getting him to take it off. So he wore it all day. And after his bath last night? You guessed it. Another huge temper tantrum because he wanted to wear his dirty truck shirt. So back in the laundry it went.(Good thing I always have laundry to do!:)
The first thing he asked for this morning? "I wear my truck shirt? It's all clean?"
None of my other kids, with the exception of Peter who is obsessed with things for other reasons, have ever been this attached to an item of clothing.(See, even after having 8 kids you can still have a new experience!)
I'm not sure how to handle the shirt obsession yet? Hopefully this will be short lived! All I can think about are the cute summer outfits I got for him at Gymboree with the Gymboree bucks I had gotten from spending too much money on his little sister!
All I can say is it's a good thing he's so darn cute!
In the last two weeks he has begun screaming, and occasionally having full blown tantrums, when he doesn't get his way. Staying calm and trying to acknowledge his feelings and redirecting his attention is definitely a challenge. His older brothers look at me and ask, "What's up with Luke?" To which I always answer, "It's just a phase. Don't worry, he will out grow it." The best thing about having other kids is that you have experienced that "This too shall pass." And, in this case, I can say, "This two shall pass!" Sorry, bad pun...I live with lots of "punny" people in this house!
Luke loves trucks. I mean, Luke really, really, really LOVES trucks! Last summer, we had to have our septic system redone and we put a garage onto our house. So there were quite a few weeks when Luke had the pleasure of watching trucks right in his own backyard. That is when his love of trucks began.
Luke would play at night and on the weekends with his smaller versions of the "big trucks" digging in our yard, which resembled a giant sand box. When the major work was finished, Jay built Luke a large sand box to play in. Luke loves it and is outside playing in it whenever it isn't too cold or rainy.
When we drive in the car, Luke is always looking for trucks. His high pitched voices gets even squeakier when he sees them and he is always so in awe, as if he's seeing them for the very first time! His favorite truck is an excavator....or as Luke says it an "esafator". He loves looking at pictures of excavators on the computer and on Jay's iphone. He can look at a dozen different pictures and each one will draw the same response, "Wow, an esafator."...."Wow, an esafator." It's really completely adorable!
Last week I was looking online for excavator videos for him to watch. A website came up offering a package deal with a video of trucks, a video with truck songs, a cd with truck songs and a tshirt for only $19.99. I thought he would love it! It arrived on Saturday morning and he wanted to wear the shirt and watch the video and he did love it. He loved it so much that on Sunday morning he threw a tantrum because he wanted to wear the truck shirt again but it needed to be washed. So, daddy threw in a load of colors so that Luke could see it getting clean. Luke wasn't thrilled but he was very distracted because we were at his cousin's house most of the day at her Baptism party.
That night after his bath, Luke was tired and grumpy. Guess what the first thing was he said after his bath? "The truck shirt is clean!!! I wear it?" And he ran into the laundry room to find it. He was so happy to have it on again. And in the morning, there was no getting him to take it off. So he wore it all day. And after his bath last night? You guessed it. Another huge temper tantrum because he wanted to wear his dirty truck shirt. So back in the laundry it went.(Good thing I always have laundry to do!:)
The first thing he asked for this morning? "I wear my truck shirt? It's all clean?"
None of my other kids, with the exception of Peter who is obsessed with things for other reasons, have ever been this attached to an item of clothing.(See, even after having 8 kids you can still have a new experience!)
I'm not sure how to handle the shirt obsession yet? Hopefully this will be short lived! All I can think about are the cute summer outfits I got for him at Gymboree with the Gymboree bucks I had gotten from spending too much money on his little sister!
All I can say is it's a good thing he's so darn cute!
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Unexpected Moments of Humility
So, I'm at the local grocery store today picking up a few things I forgot to put on my list after yesterday's weekly shopping trip(ugh!). I was in the 12 items or less lane(a rare moment for me!). I had a female cashier, a bagger, and another guy getting ready to take over the cashier position.(Let's call him the 'waiting cashier' to try to make things less confusing!)
The bagger in the lane next to mine was talking about how he was turning 21 tomorrow and having a big party. The 'waiting cashier' made a comment about how he thought the birthday boy only looked 19. My cashier asked the 'waiting cashier' how old she looked(she's clearly in her early 20's). He said, "Uhh....34...no 38?" She laughed and said, "I wish I was 38. Then I would be done with all this."(Which I took to mean done being a cashier in a grocery store.) 'Waiting cashier' said, "Why would you want to be 38. That's old...it's only 2 years until 40!"
Unfortunately, I had no witty retort....It must be because I'm old! After all, I'm weeks away from 38.....and that's only 2 years until 40!
Don't you just love those unexpected moments of humility?!?
The bagger in the lane next to mine was talking about how he was turning 21 tomorrow and having a big party. The 'waiting cashier' made a comment about how he thought the birthday boy only looked 19. My cashier asked the 'waiting cashier' how old she looked(she's clearly in her early 20's). He said, "Uhh....34...no 38?" She laughed and said, "I wish I was 38. Then I would be done with all this."(Which I took to mean done being a cashier in a grocery store.) 'Waiting cashier' said, "Why would you want to be 38. That's old...it's only 2 years until 40!"
Unfortunately, I had no witty retort....It must be because I'm old! After all, I'm weeks away from 38.....and that's only 2 years until 40!
Don't you just love those unexpected moments of humility?!?
Friday, April 27, 2012
Ode to My Husband
What a strange journey we embarked upon,
back when we were young.
It's had its hairy moments,
but also had its fun.
There's been lots of little faces,
we've had our share of fears.
There's been a lot of laughter,
at times there's been some tears.
There's been days with lots of smiles,
and days with whiny starts.
Lots of moments they drove us crazy,
but more days they won our hearts.
The ride so far's been crazy,
with babies, toddlers, tweens, and teens.
I've watched you love each one of them,
You're the best dad I've ever seen.
Perfection will never touch us,
quiet moments will always be a rare treat.
But the way you care for your family,
well, that's just an amazing feat!
Love you:)....Thanks for being such a great dad and husband!
back when we were young.
It's had its hairy moments,
but also had its fun.
There's been lots of little faces,
There's been a lot of laughter,
at times there's been some tears.
There's been days with lots of smiles,
but more days they won our hearts.
The ride so far's been crazy,
with babies, toddlers, tweens, and teens.
I've watched you love each one of them,
You're the best dad I've ever seen.
Perfection will never touch us,
quiet moments will always be a rare treat.
But the way you care for your family,
well, that's just an amazing feat!
Love you:)....Thanks for being such a great dad and husband!
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
A Moment of Graditude
I was just thinking about the kindness of a family that live on the street over from us. Peter takes walks, weather permitting, during his home therapy sessions three times a week. I forget how it started exactly...I think Peter saw a swing set in the Ellis' backyard and bolted away from his therapist. Mrs. Ellis spends a lot of time walking and working on her yard so she sees Peter in our yard or out walking a lot. She invited him to play that day. From that point on his therapist would stop to say hi with Peter whenever Mrs. Ellis was outside. Sometimes he would play on their swing set. In the fall Peter spent some time exploring their cool scarecrows and other Halloween decorations.
On Halloween, Peter goes trick-or-treating. By the time we get to the next street he usually loses interest. When we got to the Ellis' house he hung back at the edge of the street with us while his siblings went to the door. The Ellis' asked for Peter and came out of their house to come talk to him and give him candy. They were genuinely excited to see him. Their kindness was so touching.
A few weeks ago, Mrs. Ellis came out to meet Peter during one of his therapy walks. She had seen him walking with a plastic Buzz Lightyear toy a while before. When she was in a store she saw a stuffed Buzz Lightyear and thought of Peter. She bought the toy for him. His therapist told me about it when they got back. Again, I was touched by their kindness and thoughtfulness.
Peter is far from a "normal" 10 year old. He doesn't know how to have a real conversation. If we are lucky, our questions to him will evoke a one or two word answer. Peter is just "all over the place", like a big puppy that doesn't realize his size and can't contain his excitement...definitely a bull in a china shop! He can definitely be overwhelming(a lot)!
We spend a lot of time apologizing for Peter..."I'm sorry he knocked down your child's sand castle and laughed about it."...."I'm sorry he rubbed your arms."...."I'm sorry he's touching your purse."
We spend a lot of time saying, "I'm sorry, he's autistic. He doesn't understand."
To have people care about Peter...especially people that aren't his family and don't have to care about Peter...that's just so encouraging to me. It makes me feel like we have someone else, like our family members and close friends, who are on our team. Thank-you for supporting us. Thank-you for accepting him for who he is and where he's at in his developmental journey.
On Halloween, Peter goes trick-or-treating. By the time we get to the next street he usually loses interest. When we got to the Ellis' house he hung back at the edge of the street with us while his siblings went to the door. The Ellis' asked for Peter and came out of their house to come talk to him and give him candy. They were genuinely excited to see him. Their kindness was so touching.
A few weeks ago, Mrs. Ellis came out to meet Peter during one of his therapy walks. She had seen him walking with a plastic Buzz Lightyear toy a while before. When she was in a store she saw a stuffed Buzz Lightyear and thought of Peter. She bought the toy for him. His therapist told me about it when they got back. Again, I was touched by their kindness and thoughtfulness.
Peter is far from a "normal" 10 year old. He doesn't know how to have a real conversation. If we are lucky, our questions to him will evoke a one or two word answer. Peter is just "all over the place", like a big puppy that doesn't realize his size and can't contain his excitement...definitely a bull in a china shop! He can definitely be overwhelming(a lot)!
We spend a lot of time apologizing for Peter..."I'm sorry he knocked down your child's sand castle and laughed about it."...."I'm sorry he rubbed your arms."...."I'm sorry he's touching your purse."
We spend a lot of time saying, "I'm sorry, he's autistic. He doesn't understand."
To have people care about Peter...especially people that aren't his family and don't have to care about Peter...that's just so encouraging to me. It makes me feel like we have someone else, like our family members and close friends, who are on our team. Thank-you for supporting us. Thank-you for accepting him for who he is and where he's at in his developmental journey.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
O Snappy Day
Tuesdays are a hectic day for me because I work for my parents salon in the morning. I woke up this morning after an awful dream. (In the dream I felt insecure and inferior and because of my feelings I got into a car accident and Luke got hurt:(...definitely not a happy dream.) I felt stressed about doing everything that needed to be done before I had to leave. I also felt frustrated because I didn't get to exercise yesterday and wouldn't be able to today either.
I felt all the negative feelings starting to bubble up and threaten to take over the day and it wasn't even 7am yet. I was already starting to be a little snappy with Jay, who managed to wake himself up early to get a workout in. I didn't want to be cranky, but I was definitely feeling frustrated.
Kate wanted to nurse so I sat down at the computer to check my emails. I received the following from Catholic Digest:
Today's Quiet Moment
Tuesday, April 24
Do not give yourself over to sorrow,
and do not distress yourself deliberately.
A joyful heart is life itself,
and rejoicing lengthens one’s life span.
Indulge yourself and take comfort,
and remove sorrow far from you,
for sorrow has destroyed many,
and no advantage ever comes from it.…
Those who are cheerful and merry at table
will benefit from their food.
Sirach 30:21-23, 25and do not distress yourself deliberately.
A joyful heart is life itself,
and rejoicing lengthens one’s life span.
Indulge yourself and take comfort,
and remove sorrow far from you,
for sorrow has destroyed many,
and no advantage ever comes from it.…
Those who are cheerful and merry at table
will benefit from their food.
I definitely felt it was a direct message for me today. Part of me wanted to hold onto the chip on my shoulder...it makes me feel that my anger is validated. Plus, it's easier to just feel angry instead of looking at why I feel angry...feeling inferior and unhappy with my body image are definitely feelings I would rather avoid. However, not being snappy to my family and not taking out my negative feelings on them won out(at least at that moment...unfortunately that's not always the case). The morning went back on track and my emotions were a little calmer.
Why does being calm and loving and positive often feel like such a difficult task?
Monday, April 23, 2012
Resisting Change
This morning, I was thinking about something Mike used to do when he was very young. When he was around two, Mike and I would lay down on his bed at night and read a few stories together. Just before we would get to the end of a book, he would grab it and shut it and get another book in a panicky way. Mike did this because he didn't want story time to end and bedtime to start. No matter how much I tried to explain to him that I would finish one book AND still read more, he just didn't understand. So he always got stressed as we ran out of pages and he always missed out on the ending.
This memory popped into my head when I was trying to resolve some of my own feelings. We spent a couple of hours yesterday discussing and researching places to go this summer on a family vacation. It can sometimes be challenging to find an environment that will be fun for everyone when you have ages that span from 4 months to 19 years!
I'm having a hard time living in the moment to plan and then enjoy this special time together. I feel like I'm already grieving that it's over. It's just so silly really. I guess these times happen so infrequently I feel like there's so much pressure to get it right because our family dynamics are changing so quickly with the boys turning into men before our eyes! Having this special time together will be a gift to build memories...and, I know from experience, that no matter how much we plan nothing can ever be truly perfect. In reality, sometimes those imperfect times ending up being some of the best and funniest memories.
I guess my real problem is that I don't want anything to change. It looks like the kids would really like to go back to Hershey Park. Most of them don't even remember the first time we went 9 years ago. Mike was 10, Andrew 8, Jon 7, Sarah 4, Peter 2, and Ellie was only 4 months old! That was 2 months before Peter was diagnosed with Autism. What I mostly remember about that trip was that Michael got car sick 1 hour into the car drive and threw up all over himself, the flume ride Jay took the older kids on and had them yell "Polish power" at the top of the drop because they were all a little freaked out(that won't be a problem this time!), the free ride that showed how Hershey makes chocolate(the kids loved the free sample at the end), and the great chocolate milk shakes!
This is just one of those moments when I wish you could go back into the past and tell yourself to enjoy those everyday, chaotic moments of having young children. To tell yourself to spend a little more time snuggling and hugging and interacting with those little people. Sometimes those sleepless nights and seemingly endless diaper changes and toddler energy felt like they would never end. Even though these moments haven't ended for us yet, we did take a multiple year hiatus from it. I can honestly say that, at least most days, I am in no hurry for Luke's pudgy little body to turn into a long, lanky one or for Kate to lose her gummy, toothless grin. It's even given me patience through most nights of multiple waking because of Luke's lousy sleep patterns and almost 3 years of constant nursing. I know that even the tough days (and nights) won't last forever....I have 6 visual reminders of that every day!
I just need to keep working on being able to accept all these changes and find a sense of peace about it! Looks like it's time to read some self-help psychology books and spend more time in prayer!
This memory popped into my head when I was trying to resolve some of my own feelings. We spent a couple of hours yesterday discussing and researching places to go this summer on a family vacation. It can sometimes be challenging to find an environment that will be fun for everyone when you have ages that span from 4 months to 19 years!
I'm having a hard time living in the moment to plan and then enjoy this special time together. I feel like I'm already grieving that it's over. It's just so silly really. I guess these times happen so infrequently I feel like there's so much pressure to get it right because our family dynamics are changing so quickly with the boys turning into men before our eyes! Having this special time together will be a gift to build memories...and, I know from experience, that no matter how much we plan nothing can ever be truly perfect. In reality, sometimes those imperfect times ending up being some of the best and funniest memories.
I guess my real problem is that I don't want anything to change. It looks like the kids would really like to go back to Hershey Park. Most of them don't even remember the first time we went 9 years ago. Mike was 10, Andrew 8, Jon 7, Sarah 4, Peter 2, and Ellie was only 4 months old! That was 2 months before Peter was diagnosed with Autism. What I mostly remember about that trip was that Michael got car sick 1 hour into the car drive and threw up all over himself, the flume ride Jay took the older kids on and had them yell "Polish power" at the top of the drop because they were all a little freaked out(that won't be a problem this time!), the free ride that showed how Hershey makes chocolate(the kids loved the free sample at the end), and the great chocolate milk shakes!
This is just one of those moments when I wish you could go back into the past and tell yourself to enjoy those everyday, chaotic moments of having young children. To tell yourself to spend a little more time snuggling and hugging and interacting with those little people. Sometimes those sleepless nights and seemingly endless diaper changes and toddler energy felt like they would never end. Even though these moments haven't ended for us yet, we did take a multiple year hiatus from it. I can honestly say that, at least most days, I am in no hurry for Luke's pudgy little body to turn into a long, lanky one or for Kate to lose her gummy, toothless grin. It's even given me patience through most nights of multiple waking because of Luke's lousy sleep patterns and almost 3 years of constant nursing. I know that even the tough days (and nights) won't last forever....I have 6 visual reminders of that every day!
I just need to keep working on being able to accept all these changes and find a sense of peace about it! Looks like it's time to read some self-help psychology books and spend more time in prayer!
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