Space to Breathe

I am slowly trying to recover from the insanity of our schedule over the past 2 weeks...a prom, a semi-formal prom, 3 awards banquets, 2 Baccalaureate Masses, 3 graduations, an IEP meeting...not to mention a couple of basketball games, lots of meetings, a couple of birthdays and Jay running the youth group car wash!

Can I just say that I am beyond tired!

Yesterday was my Mom's birthday and Sunday is Father's Day....and I am all planned out!  Oh...and Ellie is in the school's talent show tonight...her idea, not mine, but it was something she really wanted to do!  Last night was the rehearsal...which we missed (add it to my bad mom list) but I just couldn't do one.more.thing!  Literally...I was starting to twitch.

I am burned out!

You know when you get to the point where you just don't know what you need anymore???

Weeks of organizing schedules, planning ahead to try and make things special for each one of them, (even when celebrations fall on the same day!), have taken a lot out of me.

Meanwhile, the dishes, laundry and cooking aren't on vacation!  All the other kids' still have their needs, too!

Sarah made a comment today about something we were talking about (that I don't remember at the moment)....she said, "You're the Mommy."  To which I answered, "Yep...24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year."

No wonder I'm so tired!

I'm definitely in need of some N.P.T.O. time...not paid time off!

How do you decompress after periods of extreme chaos?

And Last But Not Least.....

It was another busy weekend as Sarah's 8th grade year winds to a close!

On Friday, the class and chaperons spent a very wet and rainy day at an amusement park about 2 hours away from the school.  Since they are kids, they still all managed to have a great time!  The bonus of the crummy day was that the only other people there were 2 other classes on a field trip so there were no lines anywhere!  The kids got to stay on all the rides until they were bored with them!(I think that Sarah's record was 9 times on one ride!)

Before they got to the park, the class stopped at Burger King for breakfast.  Sarah asked for a Burger King crown and she wore it all.day.long!  Goofy kid:)

While the kids were away, the parents that stayed behind began setting up for their semi dance in the gym.  With some awesome ideas and many moms' resourcefulness, the school gym was transformed into an Arabian Nights theme wonderland!  The kids did not know the theme until they walked into the gym Saturday night....and it was truly wonderful to see the looks of amazement and wonder on their faces!

It made all the planning and hard work worth it!  (As a confession, I was not blessed with any type of Martha Stewart gene!  I did the lugging!  But I was happy to be involved and it always amazes me how creative minds work!  Oh....you take a piece of grass, a piece of gold paper and some glitter and you can create a Taj Mahal?  Just amazing!)

The dessert table!

The tent where tables were set up for dinner.  The folding chairs were only there for a slide show presentation for the parents and then they were put away and the area became the dance floor.  Lots of strings of lights on and around the tent made for some incredible "mood lighting" that you can't get in this picture!

I know this pic is fuzzy..:(...but look at the joy and amazement on Sarah's face and her friend's as they walked in the door!

Sarah with one of the props:)

...and a couple of our beautiful daughter!  

...I know I've said this a lot the last few weeks, but where does the time go?

Tonight is Sarah's graduation!  The final chapter to a great year...topped by the honor of being the valedictorian of her class!  It was a goal Sarah set for herself in the beginning of the year and worked hard all.year.long to achieve it!  

Sarah's biggest motivation.....she wanted to beat her brothers at something!  lol...a little family competitive streak that she inherited from both sides of the family!

I'm so proud of you, Sarah!  I can't wait to hear your speech tonight!  

I definitely won't be wearing mascara tonight....waterproof or otherwise!

P.S....Happy Birthday to my loving, incredible husband who truly is my better half!

Falling Into His Heart

Today is the Solemnity of the Sacred Heart of Jesus.  Thanks to one of my older guys, I was able to go to Mass this morning all.by.myself!  :)

I need to do that more often!  Mommas need some recharging time, too!

This past Wednesday night, the Women of Grace group in my parish brought in a guest speaker, Fr. David Nicorski.  Fr. Dave had also come to give a talk last year that I was able to attend.  I enjoyed his talk last year and I was grateful that I was able to make it again this year.

Fr. Dave's talk was focused around the Sacred Heart of Jesus.  He spoke about a lot of different things, but the majority of his talk was about how different religious artwork speaks to different people.  In particular, he focused on this picture.....

  

Fr. Dave asked for volunteers in the room of around 60 women to share what struck them about this particular picture.  Some women commented on his eyes, others on his heart, some more specifically on the crown of thorns.  (It's always interesting to hear other women's perspectives!)

There were a couple of things that struck me about this picture.  The first are the position of Jesus' hands opening his cloak(robe?)  There's a humility in the way He keeps His hands against His body.  

Think about it....if someone has something they are trying to "show off" on their chest, like a tattoo for example, their palms are facing out when they open their shirt.  Something like this....

 

Very different from Jesus' hands in the Sacred Heart pic!  (And I am in no way comparing Fonzie to Jesus!  Just using Fonzie's shirt and hands as a comparison!)

Another thing that struck me about the Sacred Heart picture is the feeling of an invitation to be drawn into His heart.....

(I'm pasting the picture again so you don't have to scroll:)

His eyes and His facial features are gentle, His hand placement directs our gaze in a gentle way to His heart, and the flame and the bright lights emanating from His heart just draw me right in.  Wednesday night, as I was thinking about the picture during the talk, I could imagine just falling into His heart...like falling into a beautiful lake on the perfect summer day!  His Precious Blood would just envelop me.  I could imagine His heart as being like a womb for each one of us...a place of ultimate love, safety, and compassion.

To me, it was a beautiful thought and image.....

Something (that felt) profound for me, was quickly  followed by ridiculousness:
The lights around His heart drawing me in like a......bug zapper.  Just without the zap...or the 'frying'.  

That's the kind of thinking that comes from being the mother of boys!

I think I will stick to my first image.....Ultimate love, safety, and compassion!

Is there anything about this picture that speaks to you?

Taking Care of Me

I think I have (finally) found a new primary care doctor!  Since I have spent much of the past 20 years having babies, most of my time has been spent in the OB-Gyn's office.  Occasionally, my need for a different type of doctor arises...and, really, I won't be having babies forever!

I have had two other "non baby" docs over the past 15 years.  I really liked the first doctor, but I couldn't stand her nurse practitioner.  Since you usually have to see the NP when you call in for a sick visit, I saw her more than the doctor.  The NP was condescending to me anytime I saw her over our choice to not use artificial birth control.  Her bedside manner was less than compassionate when I saw her for a problem I was having following Therese's death.

I decided a switch was in order!

The next doctor I signed up for I actually never saw.  I saw her nurse practitioner a couple of times.  (I tend to be pretty healthy....and I'm usually pregnant. lol)  The problem I had with this practice is that I couldn't get in when I was sick most of the time.  I could call on a Monday morning at 8:30  and they would say they had no openings for the week and I needed to go to the walk in clinic.

Huh?  Doesn't seem like good patient care to me.

Now that Kate is almost 18 months old...how did that happen!?!...and Jay switched jobs and we now have health insurance that needs to list a primary care physician, I have been on the hunt for a new doctor.  Friends gave suggestions but none of their doctors were taking new patients!  I decided to try a dr...had to be a woman...in one of the suggested practices that was accepting new patients.

I had to start somewhere!  I figured that if I didn't like her I could just start looking again.

Long story short, my new doctor is very nice.  She was patient, thorough, and didn't even ask about birth control!  That's a plus!

Her staff was also really nice and they all assured me that I could get in for a same day sick visit on the same day I call.  Perfect!

It's nice to know I have someone that will be able to take care of me when I need it.  Plus, I need to get better at the whole yearly physical thing now that I'm getting older! :/

Do you find it hard to take time out to take care of yourself, too?  It's definitely not an easy thing for me!

Whipping Through the Week!

I am continuing the roller coaster ride of craziness this week...planned and otherwise!

With Sarah's 8th grade field trip, semi dance, and graduation all coming up quickly there are still a lot of 'extra stuff' that needs to be fit in!

The most positive 'extra' is the Valedictorian Speech that Sarah has to write!  Sarah found out yesterday that she is her class' valedictorian and is soooo excited!  Before the school year even started, Sarah made a goal to be the valedictorian.  It was a close race with 5 kids in the running going into final exams.  Sarah was super nervous!

Now, Sarah is super excited to have reached her goal!  Jay and I are proud of all the hard work and effort she put into all of her school work all.year.long!  Congratulations, Sarah!

The most negative 'extra' is that our washing machine broke....again!:(  Both the washer and the dryer have been limping along for quite a while.  It makes doing the laundry even more tedious than it already is!  The dryer has been the main culprit since the door has been fixed so many times that it only stays shut enough to work with duct tape.  And, almost every cycle, that duct tape loosens and the door opens so that, when I go to switch the loads, I find a dryer full of damp clothes!

Things that make you go 'grrrrrrr'!  

The washer broke Monday morning and duct tape would not fix the problem!  (I tried it!)  I was exhausted, emotional and overwhelmed already on Monday morning after our eventful weekend.....so not being able to do laundry was threatening to throw me 'over the edge' emotionally.

My text to Jay read something like..." The washer is broken...again!  I can't take it anymore!"

Ok...maybe a little melodramatic!  I know it's just a washing machine....but laundry in our house is a full time job!  So, after a meeting I had on Monday night for Sarah's semi dance coming up on Saturday, Jay and I headed out with Kate and Luke to buy working appliances.  They get delivered on Monday.  I.can't.wait!

In the meantime, we are lucky enough to have my parents across the street from us so we are using their washing machine!  I don't know how people do it that have to use the laundromat!  A little inconvenience reminds me of how blessed I am!

My head is still a whirl trying to process all the accomplishments and changes that have been going on...and will continue to go on.  The next 2 weeks will speed on by and the official summer vacation for everyone will be here.....and I'm feeling unprepared!

I want to have a family meeting to come up with ideas for the summer.  The ideas will have to be inexpensive (very)...but I want to have some plans to look forward to!  While I want the summer to be laid back and restful, I also need a little bit of structure! (and so do the kids!)

The summer always seems so long but goes by so fast!   I want it to be enjoyable memories...and some regular excursions to get the kids out of the house once in a while!(Other than going to the grocery store...lol!)

Weekly visits to a library are on my short list...I like going to different local libraries occasionally just to keep things interesting, too!  The beach will be an occasional thing....an occasional visit to our local zoo and hopefully a day trip to a new zoo, too!  Some of the older kids have a retreat week and/or weekend planned and some of them are doing week long basketball camps during different weeks throughout the summer.

What summer ideas do you have to keep the kiddos occupied (and your sanity intact!)?

Congrats to my Graduates!

What an exciting...and exhausting....weekend!  It was non-stop prepping, experiencing, and partying every minute of each day!

I'm trying something new today and linking up with Lisa's Hello Monday Series.

So...without further ado....

Hello.....

 To family waiting to watch Mike's Community College graduation!

 

 ...especially an adorable baby sister!:)

 Hello....
To the proud graduate processing into the graduation tent!(This is my favorite pic...he is sooo happy:)

Hello.....

To the Summa Cum Laude Graduate with the 3.89 GPA!  

With my sister who is the director of the science labs at the college...and 16 inches shorter than Mike!

Hello.....

To a small family party(haha...small and our family is an oxymoron!)...with new, fun recipes and a special oreo cheesecake cake for dessert.  I have mixed reviews for the cake...the cake part was very good, the white chocolate buttercream frosting was really good, but the cheesecake layer was a little disappointing.(And anyone that knows me knows that I bake many cheesecakes a year!)  It just wasn't as fluffy and creamy as other cheesecakes.  I'm thinking it's that way on purpose because it wouldn't be able to work as a middle layer otherwise.  It's an interesting concept....but I think an incredible cheesecake is better standing alone!  It was fun to make something special for Mike, though...and no one complained when they ate it:)

Hello.....

To suprising Mike with the news that several of his friends would be arriving for pizza and smores a couple of hours later!  That party went on until after midnight!

Hello...

To Part II to our Saturday celebrations....

and Andrew's Baccalaureate Mass on Saturday night!

Hello.....

To Sunday morning when Andrew asked if he could have homemade meatball subs instead of pizza after his afternoon graduation!  And, since it's his special day, how could I say no.  So Andrew ran out to the local bakery to get rolls and to the grocery store to grab hamburger.  Thankfully, I already had the sauce ingredients and I got it all made and put together just in time to leave for his graduation.(With a little help from Sarah to take the meatballs out of the oven and put them in the crockpot!  Thx, Sarah!)

Hello.....

To another proud graduate with his proud grandparents.(Jay's dad is a math teacher at the high school and we got him to keep his robe on just long enough to snap a picture!:)  I cannot believe how fast those four years went by!  It was a good experience for Andrew...and that particular school was where he was meant to be!

Hello.....
To another small family party that included Andrew's girlfriend, Courtney, (who goes to a different high school that graduated this past Thursday...Congrats to Courtney:), and...................

.............more cake!  This cake is courtesy of Jay's mom and is Andrew's favorite!

Hello.......

To a double graduation weekend 

.....and proud but exhausted parents! 

I hope you had a fabulous weekend, too!  

Thanks for letting me share our celebration pictures!

Ready.Set.Graduation(s)!

Peter's IEP meeting went well.  It was very looooong because it was his 3 year evaluation...which means lots more testing...and he is also aging out of his program this year so we got to hear a little of what we can expect from his new program next fall.

We had a small army as Peter's 'team'...there was our sped director, the behaviorist, the psychiatrist, the Occupational therapist, the speech therapist that is the head of his home therapy program, the Occupational therapy assistant, the speech therapist that treats Peter at school, Peter's current classroom teacher, the woman that will be his teacher next year, the director of the Collaborative that Peter's class belongs to, plus me and Jay!  

How many people does it take to put together an IEP?  Apparently 12!  lol

Everything went well, though, and next year's plan is in place.  We will see how it goes with a transition to a new school and a bigger class.  A couple of the kids were in Peter's class last year.  The positive side of that is they are familiar faces.  The negative side is that they tend to play off of each other and cause behaviors.:(  

So...we will just have to see how that goes!  I'm not going to even going to worry about it until September!

I have to say that the psychiatrist, who I was meeting for the first time, was incredibly positive and had some interesting ideas as to certain behaviors of Peter's that we discussed.  She praised the way Peter took the tests that she administered and really highlighted the areas that are his strengths.  She had done extra supplemental tests that, though they didn't 'count' towards the score, showed that he had skills in areas that didn't show up on the main test only because he struggled to understand the directions or abstract connections.  I really appreciated that! 

The only real hard part of the meeting was hearing about the new program.  While it certainly contains a lot of academics, they begin to focus more on daily living skills.  

That was a little tough.  Knowing that the focus is the highest level of independence and community involvement that Peter is capable of just makes the reality of his diagnosis and disabilities that much more permanent.

I don't have any illusions that, without a miracle(which I still pray for), Peter will wake up one day and be a neurotypical child.  Our long term financial and emotional plans have accepted Peter as having a permanent disability and finding out the ways to protect him and make sure he will always be able to get the care he needs.  Along with praying that miracle prayer, my daily prayer is that one(or several) of his siblings will be open and able to care for him when the day comes that we are no longer able to.  My prayer extends to include the openness of my future grandchildren to care for their Uncle Peter as well.

Some things just aren't easy.....

But........today is a day to celebrate!

Mike is graduating from Community College!  I've tried to make the day special for him....starting with breakfast out with just Jay and then special food, a special cake, and a surprise night planned with friends.(Yeah...I decided to surprise him:)

The celebration at our house continues into Sunday when Andrew graduates from high school!

I'm sure I will have lots of pictures to share on Monday!(I have made the cake part and the cheesecake part of the oreo cheesecake cake....so far so good!  I will make the frosting and put it together first thing tomorrow morning!  Pics to follow of that, too!)

Until then, I hope to get through my to-do list before the celebration begins!(or at least the parts that really, really have to get done!)

I hope you have a great weekend, too!  As my friend, Colleen, likes to say...."See you on the flip side!":)