We Plan, God Laughs(a.k.a. 2020)

 I haven't linked up with Kelly or done Seven Quick Takes in a while. It's a good way to catch up with some of our bigger news. Although I should probably call it "Not So Quick" Quicktakes!

1. We Plan, God Laughs

That could have been the theme of 2020! Like many people, we had a family wedding that got postponed, rescheduled, and then rearranged to follow the state guidelines of what we could and couldn't do! At the end of June, my son, Jon, married our lovely daughter-in-law Marisa in a beautiful ceremony that didn't happen when it was originally planned, with a fun reception that wasn't held where it was supposed to be originally held, but was perfect just the same. (You can get all the details of their wedding and Covid backup plan  backyard reception here.)

We joked with them that the theme of their marriage was going to be "unexpected" after all the craziness of planning and replanning all of the events surrounding the wedding!

That theme continued quickly when, only a month after being married, they found out Marisa was pregnant!  #honeymoonbaby! They told us the day the pregnancy was confirmed at the Dr's office and they were both pretty shell shocked. After all the ups and downs during the spring with all the wedding issues, finally getting married and just getting started with married life, they had been through a lot of changes! Now they were faced with another happy...but very big life change....to adjust to!

Marisa and Jon told our older crew about the pregnancy a week later but wanted to hold off telling Kate and Luke until Marisa had her first OB appointment a couple weeks later. Their siblings were VERY excited for them. Marisa and Jon were just starting to adjust to the shock and get excited at the idea of being parents when God threw another level of "unexpected" in for fun.....

2. (Hint: Because the Number 2 is Appropriate)

TWINS!!!

(and the shock came back full force!)

TWO sacs, TWO heartbeats, and TWO very surprised (and overwhelmed) parents! 

3. Expect the Unexpected

Once the second shock wave wore off, there was a lot of excitement. Since they have had enough surprises  for one year, Jon and Marisa wanted to find out the baby’s genders. Thankfully, the babies cooperated! We did a tiny reveal party with just the immediate family that Marisa's parents hosted with some pizza and homemade cakes made by Jon and Marisa. 

Marisa’s parents cut the cake for Baby A and Jay and I cut the cake for Baby B. 

And........ Jon and Marisa are having.......

TWO BOYS!!

4. The Name Game

Jon and Marisa had a short list of baby names they both liked. It didn’t take them long to choose!(they are both planners:) 

Baby A’s name is Ambrose Thomas. Thomas is Marisa’s Dad’s name. :) Ambrose is proving to be the calmer of the twins in utero. He is much more of a chill baby. In the 3D ultrasound, they got a really good pic of Ambrose. Marisa thinks he looks like Jon.

Sweet little Ambrose<3

Baby B’s name is Leo Jason. After Jay:) Leo is much more active than his brother and is already causing mischief. Leo is always getting under Marisa’s ribs and making her uncomfortable. Leo did not stay still enough to get a good pic during the 3D ultrasound. It looks like a Picasso! You could see Leo’s mouth pretty clearly and it looks just like Marisa’s mouth. So I think that Ambrose is going to look like Jon but act like Marisa and Leo will look like Marisa and act like Jon.(who has always been the tease and mischief maker of the family!)

Wiggly Leo!

In this week's regular ultrasound pic, they finally got a profile of Leo(Baby B on the right) 
Ambrose has his little arm in front of his face.

After several months of tough morning sickness, Marisa feels good but uncomfortable. The babies weigh about 3 1/2 lbs each and are growing well. The goal date is March 25th. We are praying they stay in long enough to avoid any NICU stays. We are getting very excited to meet these two little blessings!

5. And Speaking of Blessings...

What’s better than two grandbabies?? 

Well...three grandbabies of course!

In early November, Andrew and Liz surprised Jay and I and Liz’s parents with a very happy pregnancy announcement! Andrew and Liz invited the four of us for dinner...which they have done before so we weren’t suspecting anything. They made an Asian inspired chicken dish and served fortune cookies for dessert. These were special fortune cookies they had ordered to announce their news! 

 

Photo credit to Liz's sister, Victoria

Andrew and Liz’s bundle of joy is due on July 6th. 

Baby Hamel at 8 weeks<3

In another week or so Liz will have her 18 week ultrasound. I can’t wait to get a clearer peek of this precious blessing! Liz wants to be surprised when the baby is born, so we will be guessing for a while whether we will get a granddaughter or another little grandson. I can guarantee that I will be found in local stores buying clothes in the appropriate colors the day after their baby is born...or the hour after depending on the time this little one arrives!

6. Picking a Name...For Us

It’s a little surreal that we are grandparents! Kate’s only 9 so it wasn’t that long ago that I was pregnant myself and nursing little ones. It’s a big shift...a happy one but still a little hard to get used to. We’ve gone back and forth about what we want the babies to call us. I’ve thought about it occasionally over the last few years when grandbabies were just in my imagination. I had been leaning towards Mimi. Marisa’s sister had a sweet little girl last year and Marisa’s mom, Cathy, chose to be Mimi. (whomp whomp) And both our husbands are boring and just want to be called ‘Grandpa’ so it will be too confusing for the twins to have two sets of grandparents with the same names!

So I think I want to be called Grammie? or Grammy? Idk if the "ie" just makes it seem that I'm trying too hard to stay young!?!  Thoughts? Suggestions?

(P.S. Jon says that Cathy and I are being “extra”. Lol)

7. One More Addition to the Family

I bet you thought I was going to say I’m having a baby too! Nope! I’m too old and tired for that!;)

But our family is growing again...Sarah is engaged! Her fiance, Mike, is serving as a Marine in Japan. (You can find out about how Sarah met him here.) He was finally able to come home on leave after being gone for over two years in October. (thanks Covid) Mike and Sarah spent the almost month he was home together every day. Towards the end of his visit, he proposed.

Photo credit to Ellie...Mike brought her along as official photographer:)

Mike won't be done with his time in the military until August, 2022. They are planning on getting married sometime in September, 2022. (I needed a few months off from wedding planning after this summer, but Sarah and I have started having conversations about what she would like her wedding and reception to look like and we will probably start researching options next week.)

Of course, like I said at the beginning, we plan and God laughs. So we will do our part and just see how it goes. Thankfully, I have lots of experience planning, unplanning, and replanning large events now!

Have a great weekend!

Remember To Look Up

Back in the Fall, Jay and I went through a difficult week with one of our kids. There were big life decisions being considered and details that deeply concerned us. There were lots of discussions happening that seemed to be having the opposite effect of what we were trying to accomplish; open and honest dialogue just seemed to end with more hurt and confusion. It was a struggle that was compounded by the emotional burnout we were already experiencing after the trials and crosses from the spring and summer months. 

We didn’t have much to give and another emotional battle was threatening to drown us as a family. I wasn’t sure we had any fight left after everything we had gone through and, to be honest, there were moments that I just wanted to give up and stop trying to find a way to fix it.

Is there any situation(s) in your life that have you nodding your head right now?  Keep reading...maybe the advice that helped us will encourage you.<3 

Jay and I did a lot of talking and praying over the course of a few days. We knew we needed help to work through it all and we sought that help. We spoke to a therapist and each of us spoke to the Deacon at our parish, who we are immensely blessed to have. As hard as it was to work through all the emotions of what I was feeling, my constant prayer was, “Please, God, don’t let me make the situation worse.” 

I approached Deacon Dave after daily Mass during this tumultuous week. I had a lot of grief and a lot of anger that I needed help to work through. Deacon did a lot of listening in the hour + I spent with him that morning. He also shared some stories from his own parenting days which helped to remind me that I’m not alone in my parenting struggles. It also gave me hope because his children are all adults with families of their own that they are close to. There are certainly benefits to talking to parents who have survived the trenches!

There was one thing that Deacon said that really struck me and allowed my perspective to change very quickly. Deacon said, “You need to pray....what does God want in this situation?” In that moment, God reminded me that I was not in control. It wasn’t my job to convince said child about the negative consequences that could come out of the decisions that were being discussed. It wasn’t my job to change anyone’s heart. That was God’s job. Having that responsibility lifted from me took away the anger I had been struggling with. Being able to respond to the situation we were working through without anger was very important to not further damage relationships or cause deeper rifts and unnecessary pain to occur. Not causing more brokenness for myself or anyone involved was important to me....it’s much easier to fix a cup broken in a few big pieces than one that has been shattered. 

The situation still hurt, but my focus had shifted. I was no longer just looking at the hurt and trying to figure out a way to fix it. I was reminded to look up and remember Who it was that could truly fix the situation. I prayed for openness for Jay and I as well as for our child....for all of us to see what was best and to have the grace to accept it. I didn’t just pray for our wishes and desires to be followed....I’ve learned that, even though we love our kids more than anything, what we want for them isn’t always what God has planned.

We took a deep, unsteady breath and tried again. It took a few more days, but God finally provided an opening. There were difficult conversations...and a few tears...but the confusion finally lifted and we all realized that so much of the hurt that everyone was feeling was based on miscommunication and misunderstanding. And even though it took several weeks to start to feel “normal” again as everyone worked through their own thoughts and feelings about how this situation affected them, I know that everyone involved learned a lot. (Hopefully enough so that we can avoid any similar situations in the future !!)

Despite the hurt, that tough week provided a blessing through Deacon Dave for me...the reminder to “look up” when things are too hard and too heavy and to remember to ask: “God, what is your will?”

“He reached from on high, he took me, 

He drew me out of many waters. 

He delivered me from my strong enemy, 

and from those who hated me; 

for they were too mighty for me.

 They came upon me in the day of my calamity; but the Lord was my stay. 

He brought me forth into a broad place;

 he delivered me, because he delighted in me.” 

Psalm 18:16-19