Monday, August 21, 2017

Transfiguration Moments

At Mass on the Transfiguration a couple of weeks ago, I got some interesting insights that made me think of this particular event in a brand new way. To be fair, other parish priests may have explained the Transfiguration more fully, but it's been many years since I've heard more than just small bits and pieces of the homily because of life with little ones! But that's a whole other blog post.

Our parish priest talked about the Transfiguration as the time "where Jesus got His apostles ready to face His death." I guess I always considered the Transfiguration as just another time when God revealed the identity of His Son in a really special way. I didn't consider this moment as a time when Jesus showed His glory to prepare and strengthen Peter, James, and John for the difficult experiences that would soon be upon them.

Then he asked, "What are the times when you had a personal transfiguration---when God felt closest?"

I think that all of us feel God's presence in different ways in our every day lives. It might be opening to a random Scripture verse and having it answer a question or give us comfort...or a friend that happens to say just the words we need to hear...or a song that comes on the radio just when you need to hear it. However it manifests, we just know it's a moment where the Divine touched our life in a special way.

When I thought about the question that our Pastor asked, a specific memory came to my mind....
It was in late October, 2003, and I had been at Mass at a local parish on a Wednesday night. That was my quiet time in a very busy season when we had 6 children that ranged in age from 6 months-10 years. I had been struggling with severe burnout and depression at the time, and getting some weekly quiet time was a very needed reprieve from the "normal chaos". This one particular night, I felt God's presence in a very personal way. It was like God drew me up and wrapped me in Himself. I felt His presence and love in a way I had never felt it before. 

The moment didn't last long. I really didn't understand it. 

The following week I was at daily Mass at another local parish and I was going to speak to a priest we were friendly with about my experience from the previous week after the Mass. While I was waiting for him after Mass, an older woman walked up to me and said, "I know you don't really know me, but I was watching you with your children. I noticed your little boy and he has a lot of characteristics of my grandson. My grandson has autism but it was all diet related."

She was talking about my son, Peter, who was two and a half at the time. He was severely speech delayed and I knew something was wrong, but we hadn't had any official diagnosis at the time and I had been praying for weeks to understand what was going on with him.  I had been praying endlessly for weeks to St. Peter that Peter would start to talk. I would have dreams that Peter would just start speaking and I would feel so relieved! Then, I would wake up and feel that horrible feeling deep inside that I knew something was really wrong with Peter but not knowing exactly what it was.

That woman's words left me in shock. I can still remember exactly how I felt all these years later! I was emotionally numb and struggling to process her words...but I knew that they were truth. 

I barely spoke to the priest about the experience I had in prayer because I was so numb from what I had just been told. 

Thinking about that special time in prayer all these years later, I believe that was a "Transfiguration Moment" for me. When God reached down to prepare my heart in a special way to face a great cross in our life: the death of the dreams we had for Peter to be a neurotypical child and the death of our expectations for the family life we hoped to have.

I think that God gives us all kinds of "Transfiguration Moments", and thankfully they aren't always that extreme. 

~When God pulls on our hearts to give us the grace to face death to sin, that's a Transfiguration Moment.

~When God comes close and shuts a door on a path we thought would lead to our dreams, that's a Transfiguration Moment.

~When God shines His Light on the brokenness we hold deep in our hearts, that's a Transfiguration Moment.

~When God gives us the knowledge of His presence but strips away all of our artificial comforts, that's a Transfiguration Moment.  

God comes close to give us the grace to go through death to self, death of dreams, death to expectations, death to brokenness, and death to holding on to self made comforts.

I also heard a great talk by Chris Stefanick on the Transfiguration. He mentioned that in the Transfiguration, God reveals Himself as a loving Father. "This is my beloved Son." 

We are in the hands of God. We are in the hands of love. If I could just trust in that on a regular basis, the ups and downs of life would be so much easier to navigate!

Chris also spoke about Sr. Josephine Bakhita. She was kidnapped and sold into slavery as a child and eventually was bought by an Italian family who set her free. She became a religious sister and was known for her gentleness and love. Despite the incredible difficulties she faced so early in her life, she trusted God with the path she was on and saw all the good that came out of the suffering she endured. 

"I am definitely loved. 
Whatever happens to me, I'm awaited by Love."
~St. Josephine Bakhita

She believed in God's love for her and I find her simple words so beautiful...and her immense trust in God so inspiring. 

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