We all love a good Disney ending...
"...And they lived happily ever after!"
When I think of it, it fills me with a sigh of contentment. The main character has been saved from danger, love conquers all, everyone is reunited, and life is perfect. But in reality, that "perfection" only lasts a hot minute because life goes on ... and life frequently has lots of messy moments. True conversion and growth require constant effort. Flynn Rider (Tangled) had to wrestle with learning to live a life that didn't involve illegal means to survive. Elsa and Anna (Frozen) had to learn to accept and live with Elsa's gifts and grieve a past marked by isolation, fear, and loss. Moana and her family had to learn to live without fear and step into who they were meant to be all along. Those kinds of deep transformations don't come easily or quickly, even though it's nice to think they can when the movie ends, because that's SO much easier (and less painful) than reality!
One of the podcasts I listen to regularly is Poco a Poco. Throughout Lent, they focused on the Gospel of the prodigal son through the eyes of story. It's a familiar passage for many. A family made up of a father and two brothers. The younger brother asks his father for his inheritance and leaves the family, squandering everything. Reduced to working in a pigsty, he decides to go home and ask to work as a hired hand for his father. His father, ever hopeful and watchful for his return, runs to greet the wayward son and welcomes him home with a great party. The older son is resentful that his father welcomed his brother home after his brother squandered everything he was given, and refuses to enter the house. His father comes out to plead with his older son to come and celebrate his brother, who was dead and is now alive.
But what happened after that?
Was the older son able to let go of his bitterness and resentment? Was he able to receive a new perspective and his father's love? To find healing and reconciliation with his brother? To feel secure in his own identity and connection to his father? Was he able to end the internal emotional journey that had him as lost as his younger brother ... just as far away from his father's love, even though he never left? And how long did it all take to get to a place of healing and restoration?
And what about the younger son? Was he able to accept his father's forgiveness and love? Was he able to feel secure in his identity? Was he able to let his plan/role in his family unfold and let repair happen in all of his relationships? Or did he get caught up in trying to earn love back and earn his place back in his family? Did he try to earn acceptance after it was freely given by his father because he struggled to forgive himself?
We don't know the rest of the story. And maybe that's because we are supposed to find ourselves in that story and ponder what ending we hope for.
We've spent the 40 days of Lent entering the desert of our hearts. Our prayer, fasting, and almsgiving have been meant to show us the places within us where we have wandered away from God and become attached to worldly things, and/or where our hearts have become hardened through bitterness or resentment, leading to an inability to receive the Father's love. Hopefully, this time has been enlightening for us! It's always difficult- (and humbling!)-to see the areas that need work in our inner world!
So what's next for us?
I think that, like the brothers in the Prodigal Son, we have some choices to make and work to do. What we give up for Lent is usually something we have a strong attachment to, and if we are completely honest with ourselves, we have a disordered attachment to it at some level. The concepts of forgiving myself and receiving the Father's love without striving or trying to earn it are things I wrestle with all.the.time.
While talking about the younger brother on the Poco a Poco podcast this Lent, Fr. Innocent said that "the son is going to need to get up every day and fight for the mercy" to accept his father's love. We need grace because the 'shame hangover' is real.
The younger son has to choose to stay in the father's gaze and believe who his father says he is because the enemy will be attacking the unhealed wound as he processes his mistakes, his bad choices, and how he has hurt himself and others. That's not just an issue for the younger son in the story. That's a huge stumbling block for all of us. The enemy doesn't give us a "pass" to work through our brokenness! When the enemy sees a way to hurt us and keep us focusing on our own misery instead of on God's mercy, he attacks.
We have to choose to not be frozen, looking inward, trapped by our feelings of shame and guilt. As hard as it is in those moments, we need to continually lean into God and bring our brokenness to Him. We need God to remind us over and over again who we are to Him, and allow His healing graces to transform our hearts and minds.
Throughout the Easter Season, I hope we can soak up all the available grace and continue our journey that we started in Lent. "Happily Ever After" might only be for Heaven, but we can continue the path God started us on way back on Ash Wednesday. Easter wasn't the finish line. We can continue relying on His mercy and His plan for us.
 |
| A pic of all the grandbabies on Easter |
