For The First Time In Forever

There are a couple of songs wafting through my mind today. One of the songs is The First Time In Forever from Frozen. That's because for the first time since February, Kate and Luke went to play with their cousins! They were both so incredibly excited when we told them this morning. They've had many a Zoom play date with their cousins, Brayden and Mya, over the last six weeks. Brayden and Luke didn't usually last more than an hour at a time. Kate and Mya on the other hand, are Zoom play date champions...they could play for hours and hours. Even though they were glad to "see" their cousins and talk to them over a screen, it still wasn't the same.

Jay and I have been talking to my sil, Jackie, over the past week or so trying to figure out what everyone felt comfortable with as we all start the slow descent into starting to ease social distancing guidelines. I know there's lots of different opinions and thoughts on the subject.  What's comfortable for some people won't be comfortable for other people. And that's definitely ok. None of us has lived through a pandemic before and we are all navigating uncharted waters! For us, we felt comfortable taking this one small step back into the "world of normal".

The kids were thrilled!

Their play date also coincided with a rare return for Sarah back to her apartment last night because her roommates wanted to celebrate her birthday. Ellie also ended up having an unplanned for social distancing get together with a friend today.  Jon is out of the house spending time with Marisa's family. Which left me home with just Jay and Peter!

That means that (hope you can hear the tune in your head)....For the first time in forever, there is silence in the house.....

I mean actual silence! I can hear the whirl of the washing machine and the dryer as Peter orchestrates the laundry room as his own very OCD symphony. (There are pluses and minuses to that but, with the rest of his "normal routine" MIA for several months now, there are only so many battles that are worth fighting as a mom.)

I also hear the swish of a paint brush as Jay refreshes the paint in our bathroom in preparation for Jon and Marisa's rehearsal dinner that we will host in just over a month. But, other than those two sounds, it is SO incredibly quiet and peaceful!

I have missed this!

As a mom of many, there are not a lot of quiet moments in the day. Once the quarantine began and everyone, including the two kids living away at school, came home, there was literally no quiet in the house. ever.

Honestly, it was starting to get to me. Just this morning, almost everyone was occupied with some kind of playing or getting ready for the day and I snuck into my room trying to get a few minutes of peace to read the daily Mass readings and pray the Holy Spirit Novena prayer for today. One of the older girls happened to be showering in my bathroom, singing happily(and loudly)...and I just thought to myself that I would never.find.a.quiet.moment.again. Dramatic...well, yes...but that's the way I was feeling.

I guess God heard that plea for quiet in my heart and arranged for all of these things to fall into place, for which I am very grateful.

Having this blessing of quiet reminds me of all the years when we had very young children.(which were a lot of years!) Getting a reprieve from a nursing baby or a clingy toddler(or both) was a rare occurrence. As much as I love my kids and was grateful to be home with them full time, there were many times when the burn out was overwhelming.

Now, after almost 3 years of having everyone in school full time and working part time with some very small snippets of time during most school weekdays that I could call my own, this quarantine has propelled me back into full time parenting. (with an added bonus of having to coordinate, sometimes teach, and follow through will school work!) The reminders of the burn out and lack of quiet returned very quickly...especially the added burn out of having a special needs child home with you 24/7. Before Peter became a teenager, there were many years when it would take me weeks to recover from the emotional stress of having Peter home with me for the few weeks between when his summer program would end and the regular school year would start again.

Thankfully, he isn't as challenging now, but 9 weeks at home has definitely taken its toll on him and on me.

So, having a little time to recharge today is such a blessing...

Wondering what the other song is that's been going through my head? Reunited And It Feels So Good...that's an old one and I actually had to look up who sang it. It's by Peaches and Herb and came out in 1978. For these pics, though, that song is the perfect sentiment!

 

A Little Catch Up

Linking up with Kelly for Quick Take Friday!

1. Mother's Day

Mother's Day was a really nice day. It started with tv Mass, then a really nice brunch with strawberry waffles, quiche, bacon, sausage and Jay's famous breakfast potatoes. My parents joined us and I had all my kids together, with the exception of my almost daughter-in-law, Marisa. I wanted to take a group picture, but I have a couple of kids who loathe pictures and Marisa was missing so I gave them all a pass and just enjoyed the day. I was completely spoiled by everyone and treated to flowers, a gift card to one of my favorite restaurants, homemade strawberry cupcakes, my van cleaned out(!), dishes washed, and my hair colored a few days later by my oldest who is almost finished with barber school. (my dad, who has been a barber and owned his salon for almost as long as I've been alive helped:) It helps to have family members that can color your hair at home during a pandemic!

2. The Light At The End of The Tunnel(finally!)

Our state is finally lifting some restrictions. Our diocese is starting Mass up again in one more week and I.can't.wait! I know it's going to be strange with masks and social distancing, but being able to be present at the Mass in person and receive the Eucharist will be amazing. I feel like we are finally heading in the right direction on the long road to normal!

3. A Special Pandemic Birthday

Sarah celebrated her 21st birthday on Tuesday! I really don't know how to process the fact that four of my children are now over 21. I'm not exactly sure how I got old enough to have four kids over 21, but there it is just the same! That's half my kids! How did this even happen?!?

Anyway...moving on..

Sarah got several social distancing visits from her friends that made her really happy.I made a special dinner for her: shrimp tacos with cilantro lime slaw, homemade guacamole, as well as chicken fajitas for the non seafood loving crowd. Ellie is proving herself quite the baker and made Sarah dairy free red velvet cupcakes for dessert. We got Sarah a weighted blanket that she had wanted, as well as an IOU for a mother/daughter lobster roll lunch in the very near future. Her favorite gift was delivered two days later. It was a US Marine Corp sweatshirt from her boyfriend, Mike, who is...surprise...a marine. Mike is also stationed in Japan and, bc of the Coronavirus, missed his planned trip home at the end of April. He should be coming for a visit sometime this summer...and I guarantee it will be a highly anticipated vacation! Jay and I are looking forward to meeting him as well. 

Curious how they met? About a year ago, Mike had been home visiting his family. The night before he left to go back, Mike wanted to say goodbye to his best friend, Alex. Alex happened to be at the movies with a small group of friends which included...you guessed it...Sarah. Mike met the group after the movies and they all talked for a short time. Mike eventually asked Sarah for her number. Sarah thought it was because he wanted to be friends. (oh, Sarah) And they've been face timing twice a day for many months now. 

And that's how my daughter managed to find herself with a boyfriend, who is a marine, that lives in Japan that we have never met. (in person..he seems very nice over Face Time) THE END 

(Or more appropriately, to be continued.....:)

Sibling love

Mike's Hard Lemonade was Sarah's drink of choice for the party!

The infamous 1st meeting..Mike is in the back:)

4. Another Special Birthday

Wednesday would have been Therese's 22nd birthday. I love how important it is to Kate to remember a sister she never met. I let Kate write the (minimal) events we had on our whiteboard calendar in the kitchen this month. She put Therese's birthday up without any reminders from me...Kate just remembers that Therese's birthday is the day after Sarah's. 

During the month of May, we have made a real effort to pray the entire rosary, (instead of our usual one decade with the littles), each night with whatever kids are around for the intention of Jon and Marisa's wedding. At the end of each rosary, Jay prays to several saints and Kate always makes sure to add, "St. Therese our sister". It's just so sweet.

5. Memorial Day

Even though each day is still like Ground Hog Day....we have arrived at Memorial Day! This Sunday was supposed to be the weekend my son, Jon, got married. That special day is now pushed off a bit. Even though we are disappointed that everything that had been planned for two years isn't happening, we are excited that we have something to count down and look forward to! And the countdown is...

6. 37 More Days!

June 28th is the day Jon and Marisa will say those long awaited "I Do's". 37 more days....the countdown is on and we can all (finally) joyfully anticipate this special moment. We still aren't exactly sure what everything will look like, but we at least know that they can have the wedding at the church and fit the people that are able to come! We aren't sure whether the reception will happen the same day yet...but we're figuring out things as we go along. I've put it all in Mary's hands, and I'm sure that however it works out it will be beautiful and blessed!

7. Enjoy the Long Weekend!

I'm most grateful that I don't have to coordinate school on Monday! 

A New Wedding Planner

Frodo exclaims, “I wish the ring had never come to me. 

I wish none of this had happened.”

Gandalf responds,”So do all that live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide.

 All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.”

How are you doing in these crazy pandemic days? Life here is still painfully restricted. I've found myself feeling lots of frustration and even anger this week in a situation that I have no control over. I know that there are very few things I ever actually have control over, but now I no longer even have the allusion of control either.

I don't have control over the governor of our state with all his hidden, secret plans that is making me crazy...and angry(but I already mentioned that). I don't have control over the fact that I have to do home learning with my kids right now. I don't have control over the fact that my special needs son is home 24/7. I don't have control over not being able to attend Mass. I don't have control over what the grocery store has in stock on any given day.

I have to keep reminding myself that God is in control and that He is going to take all these negative things in my life right now and bring good out of them. I just need the eyes to see, and the patience to wait, as it unfolds....and wait, and wait, and wait.

Patience is not easy for me. Not knowing a time line is not easy for me. Along with wrestling with control, I'm also wrestling with trust. I don't know how everything is going to work out. I don't know when anything is going to work out. I don't know what things will look like. What I am pretty sure of is that none of the "working out" is going to look like the way I would have worked things out. That thought certainly lacks humility, but it's an honest thought.

8 weeks of living a real life Groundhog Day where every day feels like a close carbon copy of the last day has definitely gotten old....wake up, get everyone moving and fed, home learning, laundry, pick up clutter, get everyone fed(again), dishes, finish home learning without meltdowns(mine or the kids), deal with more clutter, more cooking, more feeding, more dishes, go to bed, repeat. I'm ready to move onto the other Bill Murray movie, What About Bob, and "take a vacation from my problems".

I fantasize about being somewhere warm and beautiful and quiet...because I SO miss any semblance of quiet...and just resting without having to worry about schedules, or Zoom meetings, or homework, or meal planning, or having to adjust said meal planning in the middle of the grocery shopping trip because you can't find what you need to make the meals you spent all the time planning for(!).

I felt a lot of hope when I woke up on May 1st. The long month of April with it's constant, unchanging quarantine was finally over! It was a new month. It is the month of Mary. Things would start opening up in May. It was finally going to stop raining almost every.single.day. There were reasons to hope...and hope had been hard to come by in April.

You know when you have that feeling of peace and you just know that God's in control and everything is going to be all right...even if you don't know exactly how or when? That's the feeling I had on May 1st. I don't think it lasted an entire day before I was back to wrestling with the anxiety that was trying to bump trust out of my heart...but it still happened. And I'm trying to hold onto that memory as we reach the middle of May and not a whole lot has changed in the world around me.

I am a planner....and that's not an "essential skill" during quarantine. I'm also really good at shopping, which is also not an "essential skill" during a pandemic. (Although my Amazon, Etsy, and Wayfair accounts might say otherwise!) In my defense, there is a good reason for that...

One of the hardest parts of the pandemic for me is watching my son, Jon, and his fiance, Marisa, have to change plans that have been in place for two years. On May 12, 2018, Jon proposed to Marisa and lots of attention was given to all the details that go into planning a wedding. First was the date...May 24th, 2020...a longer two year engagement because Jon was in grad school and they thought waiting until he was finished would be easier.(Boy, is hindsight 20/20!) We booked the venue before they even had their calendar for 2020 open. Marisa and Jon are also planners extraordinaire...so there were dress colors, a flurry of  Pinterest boards, and all kinds of other decisions made in very short order.

And then we waited.

And we are still waiting... 

The date has been pushed from May 24th to June 28th. There will be a wedding that day...but we don't know exactly what it will look like. We will celebrate that day...but we don't know exactly what it will look like. The one thing I do know is that it won't look like what was planned two years ago. There has been lots of grief and tears over that. It's a very real loss...

...but hope is not lost.

As the groom's parents, we are in charge of the rehearsal dinner. Months ago, when the word "corona" still only referred to a beer, we all decided that the rehearsal dinner would be catered at our house. I did what I do best and started planning. As February and March rolled around and "corona" took on a whole new meaning, the details for the rehearsal dinner got a little bigger. I'm a mom, and seeing my son and future daughter-in-law have to let go of all the things they looked forward to broke my heart. I don't have control over the situation, but I do have control over the details of the rehearsal dinner. So I threw my 'rusting in the pandemic' planning skills into Pinterest and trying to make things extra special within a limited budget and my very limited ability as a crafty person.

The planner in me also started to formulate something bigger. I had to have an emergency back up plan, because my fear was that our backyard would be the location of not only a rehearsal dinner, but also a reception. That was never in Marisa's plan...and I'm still praying that this won't be the option we have to go with. But, if we have to, I want to be ready. And I want it to be as beautiful and special as it can be. Hence, all the Amazon, Etsy, and Wayfair boxes sitting in my bedroom. (And the outdoor rug I'm storing in the garage that I'm hoping Jay won't notice for a while;)

I'm not relying just on me, though. All of May I have been thinking of another wedding. It's one that happened a really long time ago in a far away place called Cana for a nameless couple that didn't have what they needed for their wedding either. Someone really special noticed and, with the help of her Son, not only provided what the couple needed but far surpassed anything they could have done without the help.

Multiple times a day, I call out to Mary, mother to mother, asking her to help Jon and Marisa. I'm asking her to coordinate all the details. I'm asking her to help me to make things special. I'm asking her to take what we have and bless it and make it better than we ever could have planned for....because she is the ultimate wedding planner.

And now I wait. And trust. And wrestle with my anxiety and fear. And remember the peace I felt on May 1st that God was in control and everything was going to work out alright.

Because He is...and it will...and these two special young adults that have lived their engagement walking with God, will have a wedding day that falls into place in ways none of us ever imagined.

Engagement Day<3
May 12, 2018