On July 31st, we celebrated Peter's 17th birthday!! It’s hard to believe that it was 17 years ago that they laid him in our arms for the first time!!
The early years with Peter, who was diagnosed with Autism at 27 months, were filled with SO many challenges....trying to keep an incredibly impulsive escape artist safe,(I still have ptsd from the day he got out of his car seat for the first time when I was driving on the highway and got to the very back of the van laughing maniacally!!), survive his horrible sleep problems, (years of waking up multiple times a week for hours at a time), and the challenge to do everything we could to help Peter be the best person he could be while grieving and letting go of all the hopes we had for him as a “neurotypical” family member.
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| Peter at 7 in one of his favorite places...the beach! |
Now, the struggles are more like speed bumps and we are able to enjoy Peter for who he is. Peter brings love and joy and silliness to our family. He is a tease like Jon and knows just what buttons to press when someone is feeling frustrated. But, more importantly, Peter is very intuitive when someone is sad or hurting and is quick to try and give hugs to make someone feel better.
Life with Peter includes:
~using up all the space on my phone taking hundreds of pictures of dinosaur balloons(there were 500 just from the week leading to his birthday!), his Southwest Airlines tshirts, miscellaneous calendars, and wedding dresses.
~obsessing over doing laundry. I know some of you are reading this wishing that your teenager obsessed over laundry. And while it's true that I never have to worry about the laundry being done every day, it can be frustrating when Peter wants to do more laundry than we have and starts taking clean laundry from other people's rooms to try and do another load. Or stuffs his clean laundry into a load that is already running!
~Peter used to love swimming 24/7 all summer long until he turned into a teenager. Now, he enjoys the pool but needs a little coaxing to go in. And he never puts his bathing suit on...he always wants to go in with all his clothes including his black socks. It's quirky but one of those "small potatoes" of parenting that I just laugh at!
~watching him act like the "mayor" at Church, saying hello and trying to shake hands with everyone. (Then quickly asking for hugs and for people to "tickle my neck"!)
~seeing how family members, friends and strangers can show such kindness to Peter with a kind word, a smile, or generously giving him one of those hugs I just mentioned.;)
~Peter may not be neurotypical, but he loves to try and get close to pretty girls! Especially in the summer when they are wearing tank tops...he had always love to see peoples' arms. He will hover around us until we take our eyes off him for a second and saunter up to a group of girls with a big, goofy smile on his face and say in an extra deep Peter voice, "Hi.." Most girls catch on pretty quickly that Peter has special needs, and most are super nice and say hello back with a big smile. (And then Peter adds a quick, "Shake my hand..give me a hug?!" At which point we remind him that we only hug our family and friends and steer him back towards the family!)
~the special bond between my dad, "Pa", and Peter. My dad is incredible with Peter. He takes him for rides all over the neighboring towns just because that's where Peter likes to go. He lets Peter sleep over every week on Fridays, and they often bake some kind of special treat together.(or head out for ice cream to the great local ice cream stores we are lucky to have!) Peter just loves to be with Pa...and asks to go over whenever he is home.
~Peter has a simple and beautiful spirituality. It has been such a blessing to have Peter receive the Sacraments over the years at his own pace. This year, he received Confirmation and it was a very special time for our family.
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| Peter loves Disney World and Martha's Vineyard! Those are his two favorite places in the world. Another love is Southwest Airlines...note the shirt Peter is wearing... because that's how he gets to Orlando! |
Life with Peter is certainly an adventure. Now that the next stepping stone is turning 18, we have to start navigating new paths for Peter and research things like guardianship and start to pray about how to best set up our lives to care for Peter in the future. These are heavy topics. It certainly makes me grateful for a big family. My prayer is that multiple siblings will be willing to help Peter during adulthood when Jay and I can't care for him on our own anymore.(which is hopefully a VERY long time in the future!)
We hope and pray for Peter to be the best version of himself and to be surrounded with love all his life.The details might be different compared to the rest of our crew, but that's really what we hope for all of our children.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord,
"plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11
