Involuntary Penances

We have arrived at Holy Week! The end of Lent is getting very close. Just a little longer and we will be able to stop all of those voluntary penances. What do I mean by voluntary penances? Voluntary penances are all of those sacrifices we chose to make on Ash Wednesday.

Lent can be a challenging season. Have you found that this season of the liturgical year is filled with challenges and changes that were completely unexpected on a day to day basis? I don't know about you, but each Lent there appears to be "extra opportunities" that God sends our way to help us stretch and grow...whether we wanted to stretch and grow or not! I call the "extra opportunities" Involuntary Penances.

My definition of Involuntary Penances are those trials that God sends our way giving us all sorts of opportunities to work on lots of different virtues that we never had any intention of working on never realized we were going to have to work on during Lent.....

Continue reading about some of this Lent's Involuntary Penances I've experienced over at Catholicmom.com!

Sweet Sixteen

We have another daughter who has reached the Sweet Sixteen milestone! Sixteen years ago today, Jay and I held Ellen in our arms for the very first time. Ellie was an 8 lb 15.5 oz bundle of joy. Sarah was thrilled to have a baby sister and the boys all fought for a turn to hold her.

Ellie was a child filled with joy and enthusiasm. She was slow to talk, but made up for that in spades during her preschool years! She loved to go shopping with me when she was little and always asked if we could go to "just one more store" when it was time to go home.

Being Ellie isn't always easy! Having five older siblings meant that there were often lots of people bossing her around!

Ellie was our youngest child for over five years...the longest stretch we ever had between babies! We thought she would be our last, but God had other plans and made Ellie a big sister a few months after her 6th birthday. Despite all those years of being our "baby", Ellie was excited and enthusiastic to be a big sister! She has always been a "super sister" to Luke and then, two years later, to Kate as well. Ellie spent countless hours making up games and playing with both of them. Just another expression of her very generous heart.

Ellie was our Cindy Lou Who girl with her big blue eyes and very blond hair. The blond hair darkened as she got older, but those big blue eyes are still amazing and draw people in! When she was a baby, all the older ladies at the market were drawn in by those big, blueberry eyes and gave her lots of attention. (Which Ellie always loved when she was little!)

Ellie is our sports girl. She loves watching baseball with Jay and played basketball since she was 7 up until this year. In high school, Ellie joined the volleyball team and this year decided to try out softball, which she hasn't played since she was 9. She loves being part of a team and cheering people on.

As Ellie became a teenager, she lost some of her exuberant personality. She no longer tries to photo bomb lots of pictures...and I have to beg for, (or sneak), a photo nowadays! Ellie has always been a reader, and she still loves to hide out in her room getting caught up in one of the many books she is putting holds on at the library.

Ellie has done amazing in high school academically! She works really hard in school..sometimes a little too hard...and has to be reminded that a "B" wouldn't be the end of the world!

Ellie has a gentle, loving heart and is a very spiritual girl. She feels emotions very deeply, which can definitely be a challenge for her at times!   But her big heart is part of who she is, and we love that about her.

Ellie has definitely been one of our easier kids to parent through the teenage years so far...which Ellie reminds Jay and I frequently that we should be thankful for. Which we are! :)

Ellie is looking forward to getting her permit in the very near future. (Driving...shudder, shudder...one of my least favorite parenting phases!) She also just got her very first real job as an ice cream scooper for the summer in anticipation for paying for car insurance towards the end of the year. Ellie is just growing and changing into an amazing young women right before our eyes. She gleefully reminded me this morning, "Only two more years until I'm an adult!"

As a mom it's definitely a little bittersweet to see the youngest of our older crew spreading her wings more and more. Despite how hard it is to see Ellie growing up, Jay and I are so grateful that God had blessed us with such a wonderful daughter!

Happy 16th Birthday, Ellie! We love you to the moon...and back!

The Reluctant Yes

Who doesn't love a Solemnity during Lent??

Today the Church celebrates the Annunciation.

"Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. 

And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus. 

He will be great, and will be called the son of the Most High; 

and the Lord God will give to him the throne of his father David, 

and he will reign over the house of Jacob for ever; 

and of his kingdom there will be no end"

....And Mary said, "Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord; 

let it be to me according to your word."

Luke 1:30-33,38

Mary's yes was not a "maybe", or an "I guess if you can't find anyone else...", or an "If I have to!" with a sigh and an eye roll.  She gave of herself completely...body, mind and soul. Mary's yes was a perfect yes. 

My own 'yeses' to God often sound more like a reluctant yes.

There are so many small yeses in everyday life. Take today for instance. Monday is my day off and usually I drop off the kids at school and then head to church for about 40 minutes of prayer/reading time before Mass. This week I even had breakfast with a friend planned for after Mass, followed by a couple of errands before heading home to do some cleaning and writing.

Well, Luke had a fever all day yesterday so that meant 'Plan B' for me today. My yes this morning was to hang out with my little guy and take care of him. It was a yes to movies, being together, and reminding him to rest, drink lots of water, and cough into his elbow(!). Instead of quiet and alone time, God asked me to serve Him through my youngest son.

We all have lots of opportunities to say a small yes every single day. Yes to serve by getting lunches and snacks together each morning. Yes to remaining patient when the gym uniform is missing. Yes to showing compassion to grumpy customers or coworkers. Yes to giving love through a smile for your spouse as he walks through the door amidst chaos. Yes to generosity as you drive your kids to games or practices. Yes to a bedtime story or a request for water after you've finally sat down and just want to shut off for the day. Yes to middle of the night wake up calls because of bad dreams...and climbing bunk bed ladders and squishing into a twin bed in uncomfortable positions so your child can fall back to sleep and not feel scared and alone.

All those little yeses might seem unimportant, but they aren't. They are a continual giving of ourselves. It's our way of reaffirming to God that I will serve...even when it's inconvenient, even when I'm tired, even when it's my Plan B...or C or D or Z!

And thankfully, God even gives me grace for the times that my yes sounds reluctant! God even gives me grace when my first response isn't a yes at all but then I work through whatever it is that's keeping me from being open to His will. Yes to letting God into our hearts always bears fruit.

https://pixabay.com/illustrations/banner-yes-no-decision-choice-1183407/

We aren't the only ones struggling with the yes/no battle on a daily basis. Even the saints had to practice! Take St.Teresa of Avila, who is not only a Saint but a Doctor of the Church as well.  In Fire Within, Fr. Thomas Dubay writes, "Yet Teresa had her faults for saints are not born out of the blue. They are weighed down with the same weak human nature we all have, and they experience the same temptations. The difference is that they say a complete Yes to the healing grace God offers to everyone, whereas most of us say 'maybe', or 'somewhat' or 'wait a while...not yet.'"
(emphasis mine)

Saying yes takes practice. God gives us lots of opportunities to say yes in the little things so that we will be ready to say yes in the bigger things He needs us to do.

Where is God asking you to say "yes" to Him today?

Just Let Go

Have you ever struggled to focus on the big picture when God is trying to get your attention? I know I have.. and I'm not the only one. Even the apostles had a hard time. The feeding of the 4000 and the feeding of the 5000 were two of the amazing miracles that the apostles were witnesses to. They saw Jesus act in big ways and they still got stuck focusing on the little things. In Mark 8:14-21, Jesus is trying to teach the apostles about some deep spiritual truths. "Beware of the leaven of the pharisees"(Mark 8:15) - and all the apostles can focus on is the fact that they only have one loaf of bread between them.

I'm super excited to be a contributing author at Catholic mom.com! Click here to read the rest of my post to see my own personal example of how holding on too tightly to the details kept me from seeing the bigger picture God was trying to show me.

When Our Mother Reaches Down To Us

I gave one of my sons the game, Bananagrams, for Christmas and it became an obsession for some of us. We've played over 100 times since Christmas day, including a “Bananagrams Madness” tournament at our little New Year's Eve gathering. (I admit that I am one of the people that look forward to playing whenever someone else is willing. Scrabble has always been one of my favorite games and Banangrams is similar with a quicker pace!)

Keeping on the topic of favorite things, one of my favorite feast days recently passed; Our Lady of Lourdes. Growing up, I really didn't learn much about the saints despite attending Catholic elementary school. It wasn't until I was a young adult that I started to read more about my faith, which included the lives of the saints.

             About 21 years ago and only about 2 years after my reversion...I am a cradle Catholic who, beyond going to Mass on Sundays, didn't really have a relationship with God until I was about 20...my husband, Jay, was going through a rough time with his first of three grad school clinicals. He had been placed in a setting where his supervisor was unprofessional and had an issue with men. It was a very negative atmosphere and a very stressful time. At the time of the clinical, we had three little boys under 5 and I was pregnant with our first daughter. I was working part time and really worried about Jay and everything he was going through. 

.....Today my post is being featured on Catholic Sistas!! I'm really excited for this opportunity to be a contributor! Just click here to head over and read the rest of my story!

Friday...With A Side Of Laughter

Linking up with Kelly today for 7 Quick Takes

I haven't done He said/She said for a while and I have some good ones. What better way to end the week than with a laugh?? So without further ado...

He Said/She Said

Luke(9): Mom, can someone say no when they ask her to marry him?
Me: Yes, but usually if someone asks to marry a person they've talked about it already.
Pa: Are you going to ask someone to marry you, Luke?
Luke: NO!! Jon and Marisa are getting married. You know..they are stuck with each other!!
Everyone: hahahahaha


Jay and Kate were having some special daddy/daughter time:
Kate(7): Can we go to Dunkin?
Jay: Sure
Kate: Can we go in and sit and eat so you can do your specialty?
Jay: What's my specialty?
Kate: Talking!
#truth

After watching the Puss in Boots cartoon:
Kate: Onions make you not kiss...so always eat onions!
Me: Absolutely!

Kate: Can you help me get a cup, please?
Me: Of course.
Kate:(stretching her hands towards the cabinet) But I can almost reach!
Me: I know..you're getting so big! Can you please stop growing so fast!?!
Kate: I can't...that's the way life works, Mom.


Last weekend, at dinner on his birthday:
Jon(23): Ok, we are going to play a game. We are going to go around the table and everyone says one thing that they are grateful for....
(long pause)
Jon: ...about me


My husband, Jay, was looking up ringtones while I ran into the grocery store. Kate was sitting in the car with him.
Jay:(listening to different Ironman ringtones with Jarvis speaking the words...if you aren't familiar with Jarvis, say the words in a "British butler" voice.)
Jarvis: "Sir, your wife is on the phone. Shall I put her through?"
Jarvis: "Sir, your wife is on the phone and she does not sound amused."
Jarvis: "Sir, your girlfriend is on the phone"...
Kate: DAD!!!!! YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?!?!?!
Jay: NO, Kate, NO!!! I don't!! It's just the ringtone!
(Can you imagine Kate going to school and spreading that story?!? yikes!)


On the way to school:
Luke: Dad, my fingerprints are different on each one of my fingers!
Jay: Yes, and your fingerprints are different from everyone else in the whole world! God loves you so much he even paid attention to the details to make sure that the invisible swirly patterns on your fingers are special to only you! Think of how different the love in your heart is that only you can give!
Luke: Dad, if you were a priest I bet you would say that in a homily.
Jay:(smiling) Well, if I was a priest you wouldn't be here.
Kate: Really??
Jay: Yes, but even before God made the dinosaurs He knew that He would make you and that you would be a part of our family.
Kate: WOW! God knew that before He made the dinosaurs?
Jay: Yup...that's how special you are and how much He loves you.
Kate: Wow! God waited all this time to make me so I wouldn't be eaten by dinosaurs!

Hope you all enjoy your dinosaur free weekend!

All About Love

Valentine's Day has certainly changed a lot over the years.

I remember being in high school, and on the days leading up to Valentine's Day, some group(that I don't remember) always did a fundraiser where you could buy carnations for $1 at lunch and the next day it would be delivered to the homeroom of the person you chose with your handwritten note. I received, and sent, a few flowers in my time there. Sometimes it was to show a friend you cared about them. Sometimes you received a flower from a "secret admirer" which always sent your mind and heart racing! (Of course, usually the secret admirer ended up not being the person you had hoped was doing the admiring!)

When relationships are new, there are lots of feelings and lots of love to go around. Those were days of bubble baths before dates with special scented soaps, lots of time spent in the mirror fixing my hair, and the dreaded struggle of choosing the perfect outfit!

Those days were all about love...

Then you get married and add a baby. Life changes quite a bit! No longer me or we..as in we as a couple...focused, now life is all about this amazing little person who has taken over your world.

And then you add another...

And then another...

And in our case, another and another and another...well, you get the picture!

The love is still there...it's just surrounded by so many other parts of everyday life and isn't quite as prominent as it was in the "bubble bath date" years.

Jay and I aren't a super romantic couple. We tend to be the predictable dinner and flowers/candy type of people in regards to Valentine's Day. In more recent years, my gift to Jay is making one of his favorite meals because restaurants are so crowded on Valentine's Day and the surrounding weekend. Spending time together with the children our love helped to create is totally ok with me.

Funny story....

Just this morning, Jay mentioned that he was going to text Jon and Andrew to make sure that they remembered to wish each of their fiancees "Happy Valentines Day" even if they weren't able to see them today. That made me laugh so much inside...he's trying to save them from trouble!

What trouble might you ask?? Well, on our first Valentine's Day as a married couple, Michael was one week old. It was a crazy time. We were both in college, Jay full time and me part time, very young, and first time parents adjusting to the needs of a new baby.

All day on that Valentine's Day, which was on a Sunday, I waited for Jay to surprise me with something. All morning I waited...all afternoon I waited...

Here is how Jay related the story to Jon and Andrew this morning via text message..
"We were sitting on the couch watching TV at night it was around 10 o'clock, and she looked at me and said, "So you really forgot?"...I thought, "Oh crap, what did I forget?" She said, "You really forgot Valentine's Day? I was waiting all this time thinking you were going to surprise me with something."

And some continued relationship advice from Jay to the boys...
"She didn't let me forget that for years! LOL And even now, sometimes I'll make a comment about not wanting to forget something and she'll say, "Oh like that time you forgot Valentine's Day?". LOL Even if they say it doesn't matter to them and act like it doesn't matter to them, to some degree it really does."

So, there you go. Life lessons from an experienced husband!

Jay loves me in lots of ways every single day. As he came in the house tonight with a truffle in one hand and a dozen roses in the other, (which he scratched the price tag off before he handed to me lol..see romance isn't dead;), I couldn't love him more.

P.S. And, just in case you're wondering, the way to my man's heart is definitely through his stomach! So homemade chicken pie and apple crisp is on the menu for tonight.

P.P.S. One of favorite things that Jay does, which is something my dad did for me and my sister, is that he gives each of our girls a rose or two for Valentine's Day every year! These girls are cherished by their daddy..and I hope that someday they will choose a man that cherishes them just as much!