In 2019, the last full year of my grandfather's life, I took on the responsibility of bringing him the pills he needed each day to his assisted living. I got to know the women who ran the front desk and some of the residents that frequented the common areas at the time I came. There was Dennis, who was super outgoing and always had a joke to tell me. Sweet Maria, who always had a smile. Joe, the very kind head of maintenance and Mia, who kept everyone's rooms clean but, more importantly, always loved on everyone with her big smiles, constant encouragement, and heartfelt concern.
And then there was Cliff. Cliff wasn't very old. He was probably in his 50's, but had some cognitive struggles. It took me quite a while to warm up to Cliff. I saw him almost every morning, walking quickly down the hallway with his head down and, what seemed to me, an angry expression on his face on his way out for a cigarette. He made me feel uncomfortable. Not because of anything he said, because he never actually spoke to me. It was just his demeanor that made me feel uneasy. Every day for months, Cliff walked by me with his quick pace down the hallway, head down, with the same off-putting expression.
A Different Perspective
Then there was one day that I noticed something other than Cliff's quick pace and demeanor. I noticed that Cliff had a hole in his sneaker. For the next week or two, I kept noticing that same hole, and I felt a little nudge in my heart that I should buy him a new pair of shoes . That nudge made me inwardly groan because Cliff made me feel uncomfortable and I didn't want to get involved or have a conversation with him. (I know...not very virtuous. But that's what I was thinking.)
I dragged my feet for a few days, but every morning I noticed Cliff in the same pair of shoes with that same hole. I finally worked up the courage to ask the secretary what his name was and if she thought he would be ok with it if I bought him a pair of sneakers. She enthusiastically said he would be and introduced us so I could ask him what his shoe size was and his color preferences. Our conversation was quick, but he wasn't unkind. Then I stopped by the shoe store after work and brought him the new sneakers the very next morning.
After I gave him the shoes, everything changed. While he still walked quickly down the hall each morning, Cliff no longer kept his head down when he passed me. He always looked my way with a big smile and greeted me with, "Hi, Buddy!" I was no longer uncomfortable around Cliff now that I got to see this different side of him. And we remained friends.
When covid hit in March of 2020, my grandfather's assisted living no longer allowed me to bring his pills in every day. When they finally started allowing adult visitors in July, residents weren't allowed to congregate in the common areas yet. My grandfather passed away that August, and that chapter of my life came to a close.
I still think about the people that became friendly acquaintances for that season. I'm grateful that God gave me the opportunity to step out of my own comfort zone and do a small act of kindness for a stranger. Giving the gift of a pair of sneakers was so small compared to the gift of a different perspective that God gave to me.
As we grow closer and closer to Christmas, my experience with Cliff makes me think of the innkeeper in Bethlehem on that long ago night. Amidst the hustle and bustle of trying to manage an overcrowded inn, a man and a woman ready to give birth appear on his doorstep seeking shelter. He could have just sent them away and let them find some other innkeeper that might be able to help. But he doesn't. Even though he can't offer them everything they need, the innkeeper offers them what he has; shelter in his stable. (See Luke 2:7)
My own life is also filled with hustle and bustle! It's easy to just try to get through our day jumping from task to task on my never ending to-do list. (And this time of year, that to-do list is extra never ending!)
When God knocks on the door of our hearts, it can be easy to push aside whatever task or interaction He's asking from us because we're just too busy to fit something else into our already over planned day. Or we miss it altogether because our ears have become hard of hearing to His gentle knock in our lives. His knock is drowned out completely by the noise of the world, and my over intense focus on my own plans. I can forget to leave room for His plans for me each day, especially in December, when list making, cleaning, baking, and shopping are in overdrive!
I want to grow in a way that I never miss one of God's knocks or nudges in my life.
I still think about the people from my grandfather's assisted living that became friends for that season. I'm grateful that God gave me the opportunity to step out of my own comfort zone and do a small act of kindness for a stranger. It has become a reminder of a time in my life that God knocked and I had the grace to answer. Giving the gift of a pair of sneakers was so small compared to the gift of a different perspective that God gave to me.
