I don't do well when I have too many options to choose from. For example, I try not to follow too many podcasts on my app. Otherwise, I waste a lot of the limited time I have to listen to podcasts just searching for an episode to listen to! Because of my time restraints, I listen to most of the podcasts I follow based on whether or not the episode sounds interesting and relevant to my life. There are only two podcasts that I play weekly without fail; Poco a Poco and Abiding Together.
The Abiding Together Podcast is doing an Advent book study on The Reed of God by Caryll Houselander. I wasn't planning on buying the book because I don't have a lot of bandwidth this Advent, and was just going to listen to Sr. Miriam, Heather Khym, and Michelle Benzinger's explanation and commentary. After taking in Week 1 of the study, I wrote down so many things that struck me that I hopped over to Amazon to grab my own copy!
"Advent is the season of the secret. The secret of the growth of Christ, the Divine Love growing in silence."
-The Reed of God, pg 38
The word 'silence' had come up multiple times for me in the days leading up to Advent as I considered where God was asking me to focus for this special season. Thoughts of slowing down and entering into the silence of my heart to find Jesus there has really appealed to me. The week before Advent, the Poco a Poco podcast had discussed making our hearts a little Nazareth for Advent...'a place of beauty, simplicity, and stillness'. Fostering stillness and silence felt like an invitation that I wanted to accept, even though I wasn't sure exactly how it could work in the midst of the busiest season of the year. Just thinking about the words 'stillness' and 'silence' and the posture of waiting during Advent created a hush in my soul and opened a deeper place in my heart where I longed to connect with God and see where He might lead me.
Just days into Advent, I already felt like I was failing. All of the "to do's" of the season were looming, the unplanned was happening, some wounds were triggered, and 'stillness' and 'silence' seemed unattainable. I was doing too much striving and not enough abiding. While there are things in this busy season that need attention and some kind of plan, black and white thinking had me looking at Advent as a time I could be productive or as a time I could be meditative. I had it all wrong, it wasn't supposed to be the either/or situation I was making it out to be.
God knows my state in life. He knows I have a husband, children and grandchildren that need a lot of my time and attention. He knows I want to create memories and delightful moments for my family at this special time of year. He knows that I like to shop for thoughtful gifts and bake special treats. He knows how full my weeks are helping to care for my grandchildren and our kids still living at home. God isn't asking me to give that all up. He just wants me to make room for Him. God even helps me to make room for Him. He orders my life for me when I surrender it all to Him. When I put God first and surrender my schedule and 'to-do' list, I get to stay closely connected to God and everything that's important still get done with the bonus of maintaining a level of peace that I'm not capable of when doing "all the things" in my own power. It's a win, win, win!
